Machochop: Cutting Through The Grime Of Sportscasters Everywhere

The Los Angeles Daily News got a bit of a hard-on after last night’s Dodgers’ victory over the flunking-Phillies. With the Los Angeles Dodgers clinging to post all-star break life support, the win seemed to isnpire an overzealous staff writer who revered manager Grady Little’s roster selection like if he had just found the cure for cancer.

Pointing out that the Dodgers’ should utilize a little more of the youngsters, the writer spats a barrage of superfluous sentimental crud that doesn’t bid well with us rebels,

After almost fivemonths of mixing, matching, adjusting, rearranging and experimenting, Dodgers manager Grady Little finally hit on something that looked suspiciously like the right formula…For one evening, anyway, the way for [Matt] Kemp and [Andre] Ethier to help the team win was to be in the lineup together.

Though we applaud the descriptive (but annoying) prowess this writer provides, we quietly return to our seats and indulge in the reality that is the Dodgers’ mediocre season. The vile truth to all Dodgers’ fans: your team is mediocre at best and will fall to a team that once adorned shit-brown uniforms. Hello, we’re Machochip, and we spray it like it is.

Dodgers Victory Is Kids’ Play [Los Angeles Daily News]