Zambrano Will Do Anything For 90 Million G's; Even Sign On Again With The Cubs

Chicago Cubs' firecracker Carlos Zambrano has convinced his team that being a dugout liability means you want to kick ass on the field too. So what has Chicago done? The Cubs have offered Zambrano 90 million over the next five years, hoping to secure at least a chance to make it to the playoffs one of those years. The crazy Zambrano, who a few weeks back broke a bat over his knee (he's a pitcher, we don't understand) was hoping to stay in Chicago because we assume he enjoys deep-dish pizza (they don't have it in Venezuela). Machochip understands that waving millions of dollars in front of someone can make anyone fall prey to stupidity, but signing for a franchise that epitomizes mediocrity is just wrong. Carlitos, we wish you the best. No, not really. Zambrano Inks 90 Million With Cubs [ESPN]