Heads Up: Just Leave The Paper Alone, And You Won’t Get Hurt

30 October 2007, 3:45 PM. By Alex Ferreyra

Jesus, Martha Stewart, get out of the way! The banner’s going to get demolished, so why fix a stray strand of paper? Just couldn’t wait to get pounded by the football team, huh?
[YouTube, via Deadspin]
When did the Red Sox become the Florida Marlins? World Series MVP Mike Lowell and Curt Schilling are pieces that won’t be back after helping bring Beantown their title. [Sporting News]
Edgar Renteria was traded to the Tigers because a team that lacks power bats desperately needs a shortstop. [Sporting News]
PSV Eindhoven defender Eric Addo received a four game suspension for spitting on an opponent. What kind of world do we live in where we can’t spit at someone or flop during a game without being suspended? [World Soccer]

MLS rookies Juan Pablo Angel, Cuauhtemoc Blanco and Luciano Emilio are the finalists for both the MVP and “Newcomer” awards. Wait, don’t they just give this to Landon Donovan every year? [Fox Sports]
FIFA is going to stop requiring World Cup hosts to be on alternating continents. Something tells us that after South Africa, the next time an African country is host we’ll be old and peeing into tubes. [NY Times]
And as our public service announcement for today, if you go to Taco Bell, you get a free taco because a base was stolen during the World Series. Thanks, Jacoby Ellsbury! [mlb.com]