Machochip Weekly Recap: Because We Didn’t Want To Leave You With Coal In Your Stocking.

Christmas weekend usually means that we have to take part in food preparations. We hate that because we always get stuck ruining something. Whether it’s accidentally breaking glass in the rompope, or knocking off our beanie in the beans, we always seem to screw something up. So if you get kicked out of the kitchen this weekend by your psychotic overzealous wife/girlfriend/or mother, then just hop on the Chip and peruse. Before you log on to Fleshbot Amazon to finish your shopping, of course.

• Andy Pettitte wants to clarify he only cheated for a short while. He’s totally sorry.
• Diego Maradona is crazier than we could have ever imagined.
• Jessica Simpsons’ boobs are powerful enough to stunt the Cowboys progress.
• Jason Kidd can’t keep his ass-grabbing hands to himself.
• Get your checkbook out if you want to play in England.
• Aqua Teen Hunger Force!. Just go look.
• New York Knicks fans are awesome.
• What do you get when you mix gay-porn and NBC?
• If Ricky Hatton loses his marbles, he can buy as many new marbles as he likes.
• Michael Vick is inspiring.
• Wondering what teams sponsored the biggest cheaters in baseball? Well what are you waiting for! Go read!
• Tony Parker is adamant about not being a cheater.
• Just another reason for dog lovers to unite with pride.