Manchester United’s Christmas Party Involved A Lot Of Hand Use

Christmas parties are generally a bad idea. You’ve spent all year with people who you’re either A) ready to fight, B) ready to have sex with or C) both. Add in alcohol and the testosterone-fueled mix athletes bring, then you’re not surprised to hear that the Manchester Untied Christmas party ended with a woman claiming she was raped by 19-year-old ManU reserve Jonny Evans.

Jonny Evans, the Manchester United player, has been released on bail after being questioned by police today about claims that a woman was raped at a hotel where the football team were holding their Christmas party.

The Manchester Evening News reported today that the initial call to police was made by the boyfriend of the victim. He told police that the alleged attack had happened in one of the hotel bedrooms, the newspaper said.

Luckily for the players, he wasn’t a Jason Stratham-kinda guy or else they’d have to put the season on hold because they’d be dead or pulverized. But at least he was proactive, unlike the ManU WAGs.

[The players] told their WAGs - wives and girlfriends - to stay at home and invited 100 models and dancers, for what one observer described as a “drinking, lap dancing and gambling marathon”.

A team full of guys with all that going on? There’s only one thing that’ll cure that… oh yeah… a freaking firehose. That’ll calm those dudes down right quick and make sure this doesn’t happen.
Jonny Evans questioned over Man United rape claim [Times Online]
Image [Times Online]