Real Madrid Midfielder Raul Shrinks Balls Legally

Spanish soccer player Raul has seen his ups-and-downs in recent years. His most notable crappiness occurred last year when he managed to score only seven goals in 31 games. The Spanish media ridiculed him as old, over-the-hill and past his prime. There were even rumors his time at Real Madrid was coming to an end. Pissy! So Raul got tough. He brainstormed and came up with a remedy common among Russian lunatics and Hollywood nimrods: ice baths and an oxygen bar in his room.

The Real Madrid striker is bathing in ice and sleeping in high-altitude conditions, and he’s off to his best start in nearly a decade with eight goals in 14 Spanish league matches.
“I’ve done it because of the love I have for this team and this club, and I have never thought about how it could hurt me,” Raul said Tuesday about his ice baths, which can last up to 10 minutes.

How can it hurt Raul? [Insert shrinking balls joke here]. The World Anti-Doping guys call him a cheat because the $12,000 hypoxic chamber he uses to oxygenate his room is actually a violation of their rules; but they don’t govern Spanish soccer so bug off. No needles, no foul.

Raul credits ice baths and sleeping at high altitude for improved performance [Yahoo]
Image [AP]