Monastery Opens Doors To Super Bowl Fans, Makes Heathens Happy

How much would you pay for a hotel room that has no television, no phone, no wireless internet..and by golly, NO ALCOHOL ALLOWED on the premises? The Sisters at Our Lady of Guadalupe monastery in Glendale, Arizona believe that $250 per room during Super Bowl weekend is what the doctor God ordered. They’ve allocated 10 rooms for Super Bowl patrons in an effort to help themselves out, while ensuring some lucky sinners will get to parlay their money around Glendale…at the cost of absolutely no hotel fun, of course.

In debt from the recent purchase of a nearby parcel, the Benedictine nuns are hoping to make a dent in their mortgage by converting their 10-bedroom spiritual retreat into a crash pad for Super Bowl fans this weekend.
“A Super Bowl doesn’t happen in a city very often,” said Sister Linda Campbell, the prioress of the monastery where rooms usually go for $105 a night. “Then we heard of all the folks that were renting out homes and we thought, wow, that would be something that would be beneficial to the monastery and help us to help others.”

God created us and we created Capitalism; thus God created capitalism. Sweet. So what kind of amenities does the place offer?

With its posters of Mother Teresa, vinyl tablecloths and second-hand furniture, the monastery’s offerings don’t match up to some of the Super Bowl packages that nearby hotels and resorts are offering, with free cocktail hours, personal concierge service and sometimes even a meet-and-greet with N.F.L. players. Though there is no curfew at the monastery, some Super Bowl visitors might be dismayed to learn that along with the ban on alcohol (forget about keg stands or late-night drinking games), overnight guests cannot smoke.
Guests at the monastery will sleep in single beds in rooms named after saints Hildegard, Helen, Monica and Ann. Most of the rooms sleep three people, and there is no telephone or television in the rooms.

Sounds like a regular hotel room in Reno, Nevada. But, some Super Bowl patrons were all, like, “holy shit, cheap rooms!” and stuff.

Clint Mills Jr., 38, of Shrewsbury, Mass., said he knew he would travel to Arizona if the Patriots won, but he was dreading the cost of a hotel room for himself and his 6-year-old son, Clint Mills III…“When I saw it on the news, I was like, Oh my god.” Mills said. “I don’t have to worry about who’s coming down the hallway at 2 a.m. on Sunday morning.”

It’s a monastery, brah! God will be coming down the hallways to punish you for breaking the Sabbath! Did you hear us? God is watching you. Consequentially, that’s the best surveillance ever, right? Ha.

A Monastery opens its doors to football fans [NYTimes]
Image [Ledu]