English Soccer Player Micah Richards Doesn’t Want His Threesomes To Get In The Way Of His Career

Micah Richards was banned from England’s national team squad after incumbent coach Fabio Capello decided to ex-nay Richards for a sex tape that was released in December. Now, 19 year old Micah is pleading his case to Capello because he doesn’t feel his ass-happy wiener jiggling shenanigans should deny him a place on the most overrated national team in soccer. Did we just type that?

I was foolish to be in the video and I was devastated when it appeared. It made me look at things differently. I would not want the England manager to judge me from one story in the paper. I would not want him to think that is what I am really like – he said
Micah now wants to prove that he does belong in the squad.
- There are going to be things that I have to deal with but I just want to let Capello see me play. My behaviour has changed 100 per cent since that video appeared. I think I am a stronger person now – Richards said.

That’s a relief considering herpes can stunt your shooting strength. More importantly, did you know that professional soccer players are randomly molested by women?

- Girls just throw themselves at you. It’s unbelievable what they get up to to get your attention — the clothes they wear, the way they talk. They can just be walking past you and they will grab your hand or even grab you between the legs. I’m not saying what I did was right but 99.99 per cent of lads from all walks of life would say yes – he said.

Yeah, well, we get random Skype messages from random people telling us we sound really nice. Damn.
Richards: Do not kick me out because of sex video [Javno]
Image [Javno]