Houston Astros Player Kaz Matsui Needs To Relax

Houston Astros Japanese 2nd baseman Kaz Matsui provides us with yet another example of what can happen when an athlete’s exertion levels are taken to the limit. We thought Felix Pie’s twisted testicle was mesmerizing enough, but Matsui proves that groin muscle pulls and bruised hamstrings are a thing of the past.

Astros second baseman Kaz Matsui is expected to miss four or five days after being diagnosed with a condition known as anal fissure.

What is anal fissure, say you? Sports By Brooks indulged in the WebMD explanation:

Anal fissures are caused by vigorous stretching of the anal canal. A fissure may develop if you are constipated and try to pass a large, hard stool; if you don’t relax your anal muscles (sphincter muscles) during a bowel movement; or sometimes after repeated diarrhea.

We started laughing our ass off after “vigorous” and “anal canal” came into play. At least Houston can rest assured that Matsui is giving maximum effort, but he should really lay off the Tex-Mex.
Matsui absence likely to last four to five days [Houston Chronicle, via Sports By Brooks]
Image [AZ Diamonbacks Blog]