Machochip Weekly Recap: Get These Damn Wings Off Our Backs.

What you missed this week because rubber band slingshot wars were simply too important.

• Dallas Cowboys’ fans are going to great lengths to grant the most demanding wishes of their dead kin.
• Ronaldo’s life after transvestites will include a child with his ex-girlfriend. Someone buy the rights to his life story already.
• Unassisted triple-plays are all the rage these days.
• Lebron James yells at his mother, dunks on Kevin Garnett. All in a day’s work.
• Edinson Volquez has been many people throughout his life.
• There is a definitive way to stop Tony Parker from scoring, and it’s not good defense.
• According to one source, Tony Romo has officially dumped Jessica Simpson. Maybe.
• Glasgow Rangers fans turn violent whenever televisions don’t work.
• Charles Barkley has a bit of a gambling problem. Good thing T-Mobile pays the big bucks.
• Jason Giambi is the official spokesperson for Major League thong wearers. It’s totally true.

Thanks for another great week. We barely made it through with minor bumps and bruises, but the weekend looks spicy and festival-y for us. Just don’t stalk us, OK.
Image [Boing Boing]