Machochip Weekly Recap: You Seeing “Dark Knight” This Weekend?

What you missed because you were too busy watching giant squid dissections.

• The greatest WAG tale of all time has finally come to an end.
• A closer look at the rise and fall of one Nereida Gallardo.
• We immediately started our search for the next WAG to obsess over.
• MLS has nothing on the opportunity to serve God.
• Diego Maradona is going to be a cracked out grand papi!!!
• Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson show off Jessican Simpson’s amazing body in Lake Tahoe.
• Quinton “Rampage” Jackson gets arrested a gun point because of not so subtle car chase.
• Nereida Gallardo is taking the break-up with Cristiano Ronaldo really well.
• Cristiano Ronaldo spurns Paris Hilton’s moves at an LA nightclub, does the right thing.
• Michael Jordan has a new, beautiful Cuban girlfriend named Yvette Prieto.
• Mexican soccer officials are suckers.