Pele Wants Wayne Rooney To Chill The F Out

This past weekend, when Manchester United played a friendly against South African team Kaizer Chiefs (and not the band Kasier Chiefs, like we had originally thought), Wayne Rooney just freakin’ lost it. As usual. This time, however, the game’s world ambassador Pele had enough. Wanting to see Rooney come back to the form he showed a few years back, Edson believes this can only happen once Wayne stops trying to kill people in the opposite kit. Or at least stop hanging out with guys in thongs. Who knows, maybe they’re both part of the vicious cycle.

Brazilian legend Pele believes Rooney, who was substituted after one hour, must learn to control his physical approach in order to reproduce his form of four years ago. “I like Wayne Rooney, but he hasn’t reached the peak of Euro 2004 again,” said Pele.

“He had two or three very good years and then lost a little bit in his performances. I don’t know why… When he’s tangling with opponents, Rooney has to learn how to defend himself - not attack the opponent… If you can protect yourself against challenges, it will be easier to keep your temper.”

Yeah, but Rooney without anger is like Cristiano without bingo or cheap, trashy women. It’s what makes them go, Pele. We feel Rooney will be just fine… or someone will die trying.
Pele warning for Rooney [Sky Sports]
Image [Deadspin]