Hey, Athletes Want To Sleep In And Eat Ding-Dongs, Too!

When Dr. Ron Evans introduced a breakthrough in weight loss last week, America jumped up for joy. Well, they would’ve if they didn’t have weak joints from holding up so much weight. Evans introduced a pill that recreates the exercising action in muscles without having to lift a finger—with all the benefits. And while it was was a big hit among the morbidly obese, it seems that athletes were just as fascinated with the quick fix and wanted to line up to be guinea pigs for the next round of testing. Of course in this era of PEDs, some didn’t exactly want to wait for Evans to call out their number.

And after the study garnered widespread attention last week, Evans’ inbox became cluttered with more messages than he could count from athletes, including several saying, “I have the compound; how much should I take?” Evans, who says he thinks most of them were from college athletes, did not reply.

Yeah, who cares about them? They’d just try to make it into GHB, anyway, especially when you show and encourage them to try to hack the code.

“The structures (of the drugs) are published,” he said. “And the drugs themselves are now widely used in research studies. Making a chemical compound isn’t all that difficult anyway; there are a lot of private chemists who will do it.”

Yeah, no thanks. As much as we hate the chubb effect our sesame chicken fetish has left us, we’d rather walk a few miles a day and not go to the “private chemist” who will eventually mix up his diet pills with his meth powder, leaving us on a six-day bender talking about General Tso and exactly how his chicken came to be.
Athletes seek to take advantage of new drug featured in ‘mouse potato’ study [Daily News]
Image [The Onion]