Browns’ Kellen Winslow Continues The “Tragedies Befalling Athletes’ Testicles” Thread

Oh man, it’s been a bad year for athletes and their testes. We had the Cubs’ Felix Pie get his twisted; the Diamondbacks’ Chris Snyder had his fractured; German soccerista and Bielefeld midfielder Markus Schuler had his manually given the pickle jar treatment; and now we have the oft-injured Cleveland Browns’ Kellen Winslow going to the hospital for “undisclosed reasons” but Pro Football Talk finding out the real reason… and yes, it had to do with his balls.

A league source tells us that the talk among the Browns is that tight end Kellen Winslow landed in the Cleveland Clinic because his balls swelled to the size of grapefruits. (We think that technical term is testiculus coconutus.)

We don’t care what the technical term is… um, ow?

Actually, one explanation for the situation is a condition known as hyrdocele. And while the condition in itself isn’t serious, it could be a symptom of testicular cancer. And, yeah, I squirmed in my chair the entire time I typed this.

Well, obviously Winslow’s going to be out for Monday night’s game against the Giants being that, you know, his balls are the sized of your fists. Think about that, won’t you, then give to some testicular cancer fund. This has been our PSA for the year.
More painful nuts…
Chris Snyder’s Testicles Can Relate To Felix Pie’s [Video's been taken down, but it's a reference point]
Felix Pie’s Testicles Tuned Up
Taking The Titty Twister Down South
The Testicle Cookbook Is Chock Full Of Tasty Testicle Recipes
WINSLOW HAS SWOLLEN, UM, PARTS? [PFT, via Deadspin]
Image [CNN]