Machogames: Blitz: The League II Brings Gross Injuries & Frank Caliendo To The Console

Football can me more than just “Madden.” That’s the general message put forward by Midway, the publishers of Blitz: The League II, the company’s gridiron gaming franchise. While it lacks the NFL seal of approval, it more than makes up for this with fun gameplay and extra features that the “No Fun League” would never, ever, lend their name to.

Like the first edition of Blitz: The League, we have zero sanction from the NFL here. While that might turn off some gamers, who would chafe at the idea of a game lacking their favorite real-world superstars, it opens up the game to new, different and particularly gruesome features that would never appear in Madden. For starters, the injury sequences are not for the squeamish. When your player hurts his leg, the game takes us right inside his body, where we can watch the leg break. One of my players had his spleen ruptured, and I couldn’t eat tomato sauce for a few days after witnessing this particular animation.

And how do you fix some of these injuries? Steroids, of course. Blitz: The League II gives players the option of shooting their injured warriors up with some juice to get them back on the field quicker. What could have been a seven week injury might only keep your guy out for a series, that is if you put the needle in just the right spot. Trainers can also snap a dislocation back in place. Like I said, not for the squeamish.
The game features the return of Lawrence Taylor, who reprises his role as Quentin Sands, star player of the New York Nightmare. A far more interesting addition is that of comedian Frank Caliendo, who brings his John Madden impersonation to the booth as the game’s color commentator. This is a clever gimmick, for sure, and Caliendo’s rambling send-up of Madden is good for a few laughs. But like the repeating version of John Madden from earlier games (Terry Glenn won the Biletnikoff Award, remember?), Caliendo can start to grate on you after a bit.
Regardless, the one thing that Blitz offers that Madden cannot is the ability to have an action-packed contest in just a few minutes. You never feel like you’ve gotten a good game in when you shorten the quarter length in Madden below five minutes. But the two minute quarters in Blitz work pretty well, especially when you’re playing a friend.
That’s not to say that this game replaces the other, not at all. But if you have fond memories of the Blitz franchise, or just want to add another skill set to your football gaming repertoire, then pick up Blitz: The League II, NFL licensed be damned. Recommended.
Available for XBOX 360 and the Playstation 3. On sale at Amazon for $49.99.
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