Machogear: “Pimps And Ho’s” Board Game Will Embarass Your Friends, Require Counseling

Do you like Monopoly, but prefer to trade in commodities a little seedier than hotels and railroads? Then you’ll love the new “Pimps and Ho’s” board game from Weaver Games, which allows players to release their inner Dolemite and control and army of courtesans while they build up enough of a cash flow to keep their street rep strong and their pimp hand mighty. All while forcing fellow players into embarrassing and obscene real-life situations, of course.

“We’re stoked to bring the nuttiest game ever invented to the masses,” said Todd Davis, head of Weaver Games. “Pimps and Ho’s will have friends busting-up laughing for hours this holiday season with our versatile expansion sets, such as HoTropolis. Avid players of the outrageous game have found it to be so insane and funny that they have consistently told us how much they enjoy playing it.”

“I just love this game. I play it with all my friends nearly every weekend. We play it so much that we wore out the money and had it all laminated,” said Alissa, an avid Pimps and Ho’s gamer in Florida. “This game is so much fun. The vindictive parts are hilarious and they are not kidding: it is an entire night of hard laughs. I love having new people over to play it. They have no idea how much fun it is and watching them is almost as fun as the game itself.”

If you buy the game today Weaver Games will include a free sample of lube, so let’s just say this is an “adults only” activity. That said, a quick perusal of the official “Pimps and Ho’s” website reveals that some of the game cards, the “Community Chest” of pimpin’, if you will, would probably make the shyer ones among us giggle like a little schoolgirl. Take, for example, this “incident card,” which advises a pimp that:

Your Ho has crabs large enough to compete with most Chain Restaurants. Pay the clinic $50 for each Ho you own.

It gets more graphic. Take, for example, this chestnut:

Your Ho failed the sphincter elasticity test; when their sphincter did not return to normal size after dilating to accept a baseball bat used in the test.

There is no monetary punishment on that card, though it sounds like punishment enough. When players go to jail in the game, they must abide by the rules outlined on the “big house cards,” which are so graphic they are not suitable to print here.
Ahh, maybe you can handle a couple. Like these:

Everyone referred to the warden as the “head cheese.” While he made you buff his dome, you found out why…Pay the clinic $400 to remove the curdled chucks from your stomach.

When the guards were tossing your cell for contraband, they find a tube of sex lube; too bad they decided to pound you dry…Pay the clinic $200 for the soothing cream.

For a badass, no nonsense street pimp, you sure do get raped a lot in this game. Expansion packs are available, allowing players to lose their dignity in a variety of new and different locations.
Available from www.pimpsandhos.com. The standard board game is currently on sale for $29.99. Expansion packs cost $14.95. If you act today you can purchase the board game plus six expansion packs, minus the “HoTropolis” pack, for $69.99.