Carlos Tevez Dumps His Wife For Soccer Obsessed, Probably Wild In Bed Model Mariana Paesani

Carlos Tevez is not what you’d call a handsome man, or even completely Homo Sapien. But he’s going to have to keep his neanderthal wang in his pants if he wants to continue living at home with his wife and baby. Reports out of England are that the Argentine Man U star has fallen for soccer groupie Mariana Paesani, who the paper described as a “footballer-obsessed glamour model,” after they met three months ago. Of course, as with most love triangles involving a WAG-wannabe in the mix, Drama with a capital D surfaced. Once Tevez’s wife Vanesa heard about the affair, she left for Argentina with their baby daughter Florencia, because this isn’t the first time Carlos has done this and she’s no boluda, and no Latina takes that kind of shit from her man. A second time. (Tee-hee!)

‘Vanesa feels badly let down and is going through great sadness. She thought Carlos was a changed man since settling down in England but that was obviously not the case,’ a friend is quoted as telling the Daily Star.

Vanesa forgave her husband after he apparently cheated on her with another Argentinean model - Natalie Fassi – four years ago. The striker then famously sucked a dummy on the pitch after a goal as a tribute to his family.

Yeah, we remember that. But it’s going to take more than worldwide humiliation to get her over this, Carlos. If you do want this to go away easier, we would go by the tried and true “cheating-to-karat” philandering athlete chart where every time you cheat, a new ring comes up with one karat commemorating each outside conquest. It’s tacky, but it’s what led players like Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan to lead happy, successful home lives with their wives (and held MJ off from paying his wife off half his money to go fuck around whenever he wanted.)
Manchester United star Carlos Tevez ‘dumps his wife for footballer-obsessed glamour model’ [Daily Mail]
Image [Flickr]