Breaking: OJ Simpson Begs Judge For Leniency Like Someone About To Be Killed Before Being Senteced To At Least Nine Years [Update: Now With Judicial Beatdown Video!]

The picture next to this post is of OJ Simpson begging Las Vegas judge Jackie Glass to kickback with the harsh sentencing for his robbery charge. So what’s more depressing, that or the stock market ticker on the lower right hand side? If you didn’t know, last September Simpson and his golfing buddy Clarence “CJ” Stewart (surely his Watson looking for Nicole’s killers) held up two sports memorabilia dealers in a room at the Palace Station hotel and casino in Las Vegas. Of course it was botched and OJ was fingered by the robbed because he’s OJ freaking Simpson, not Orenthal the Bus Driver (to paraphrase Chris Rock). He’s been trying to stay out of jail ever since, but today that proved to be futile. Despite his rambling plea to stay out, the judge gave him 16 years, with parole after nine years. See ya, OJ. Would love to say you’ll be missed, but… well, again, good luck. Not getting butt-plugged.
Check out the video of a begging OJ and photos of the shits that got him sent away for at least six years.

Simpson gets at least 6 years in prison [LA Times]
Images [ABC News]