Fail: We Know Who’s Not Getting Into The Baseball Hall Of Fame

Once a year, baseball writers and sports pundits of all stripes will take at least a day out of their busy schedules to wax poetically on the newly released ballot for the Baseball Hall of Fame.
But, for the most part, the voting this year is as predictable as ever. Sure, we have the drama of finding out if Jim Rice makes it in his final year on the ballot, but is their any doubt that Rickey Henderson is headed to Cooperstown?
Here at Machochip, we figure it’s not worth our time to predict who’s gettin’ in. Anybody can do that. Instead, we’ve analyized the ballot and come up with a list of five eligible players who are sure to be disappointed when the results are announced on Januray 12.
Care to guess which tubby funster tops our list?

Mo Vaughn: While a member of the Boston Red Sox, Vaughn was an unstoppable force in Major League Baseball. He hit for average, he hit for power, and he took home an MVP award in 1995. Sure, Mo was a bit bigger than you might like, but all that extra power came in handy when it was time to brutalize George Bell.

It’s #8. We’ll wait for you.
Vaughn would leave the Red Sox in a huff and sign with the Anaheim Angels in 1999. Injuries would then plague his career, and he didn’t play a single game in 2001. Seeing that awesome production, the New York Mets signed Vaughn in 2002. Now grossly overweight, Vaughn proved to be one of the worst signings Steve Phillips had ever executed as Mets GM.
Vaughn was so disappointing with the Mets that when his name was mentioned in the Mitchell Report New Yorkers were stunned. If you’re gonna use steroids, shouldn’t you at least be in shape? We predict Vaughn will not only be excluded from the HOF, but will never be included on the ballot after this year.
Dan Plesac: Every year, there is at least one guy on the list of HOF nominees who is there more because he meets the technical requirements of inclusion and less because he merits space in the discussion. This year, that guy is Dan Plesac. Though a three-time All Star, for most of his career Dan was simply a serviceable arm in the bullpen. He never won any awards, he never really made a mark on the game. But he played for ten years and has been retired for more than five, so he gets to be on the ballot, thanks to the HOF’s generous inclusion policies.
David Cone: Unless you’re one of those Yankee fans who thinks everybody who ever wore the pinstripes deserves to be in the Hall, you’re not taking the idea of Cone’s induction seriously. This is his first year on the ballot, and voters will be faced with a guy who, while he did win a Cy Young and play on five championship teams, didn’t win 200 career games and only stood out as an ace on mediocre clubs. If we’re putting together a winner and need a third starter, Cone would be our guy. But to lead us to the World Series? We’ll find someone else.
Mark McGwire: 583 homers in his career, 70 in a single season. This guy seems like he should be a lock for the Hall. It’s his second year on the ballot? How’d he miss it the first time?

Oh yeah. Never mind then.
Jesse Orosco Mets fans are always gonna have a soft spot in their hearts for Orosco. As well they should.

That, right there, is the moment of jubilation Orosco experienced on the mound after retiring Marty Barrett to take game seven on the 1986 World Series. When the Mets won a championship, Orosco helped make it happen. For that, we salute you.
But Orosco, who makes his first appearance on the HOF ballot this year, started pitching in 1979. That’s a rather beefy 24 years. In that time, he still only managed to pick up 144 saves, the bulk of which came between 1983 and 1987. Sure, saves are not the best measurement of a pitchers success. But had Jesse not been a lefty, and had he not been willing to play forever, could he have ever had such staying power in the MLB. And in his waning years Orosco’s contribution to the game was minimal, other than to provide fans an opportunity to blurt out “holy crap, he still plays?!” whenever he took the mound.
We love ya, Jesse. But we’d recommend against booking that hotel room anytime soon.
Image [Bleacher Report]