Lance Armstrong’s Amazing Balls Got Girlfriend Anna Hansen Pregnant

Lance Armstrong has knocked up girlfriend Anna Hansen in the most amazing way–with sperm from his balls. You see, Lance had testicular cancer, (as you might have heard), and the chemotherapy he underwent as part of his treatment was supposed to have rendered him unable to father children. In fact, the three kids he had with his then-wife Kristin Richards were conceived using sperm Lance donated before the chemo. But, as CNN is quick to rub in Kristin’s face, he’s managed to make a baby with Hansen the old fashioned way. Dr. Sanjay Gupta was even quoted as saying that this is good news for testicular cancer survivors because it means healing from chemotherapy is possible. Well, it is if you’re superman, anyway. Congrats, Lance. Your balls are the man, man. Well, at least we assume Lance is celebrating. Either that, or he’s getting ready to sue somebody. Heh.
Lance Armstrong, girlfriend expecting baby in June [CNN]