New York’s Upper East Side About To Hit Douche Overload As Alex Rodriguez and Madonna Go House Hunting

If you expect a city like New York—which is filled with every loudmouth ethnic minority every to grace sitcom TV—to keep quiet, you’ve got another thing coming. That’s why it baffles us that Madonna and Alex Rodriguez, who supposedly aren’t going out or even acknowledging each other, would go and look at apartments together. According to Page Six, the couple are checking out apartments on the Upper East Side, but separately. So all that sneaking around on his wife did pay off for something.

A knowledgeable real estate source tells us the kabbalah-crazed pop queen and the skirt-chasing power hitter are “discreetly looking at properties between Fifth and Park avenues, from just above 60th Street through the 80s.

Are they sure that’s A-Rod they’re talking about. He’s more of a pants suit-chaser if you know what we mean. Watch out Hilary!

“Madonna personally came to look at one house a couple of months ago, and Alex has been looking recently,” the insider said. “We’re talking about private, double-width mansions in the vicinity of $30 million to $60 million.”

Madge and A-Rod are also interested in scoring a house “with a garage that you can drive into for additional privacy - although those are rare and hard to come by,” our spy added. Another source said they were also looking in the Hamptons.

As former residents of the Upper East Side of Manhattan, we don’t get this. Other than a quicker route up to the Bronx to play ball, the UES makes no sense for Rodriguez. Why don’t the two lovebirds head somewhere near the Bowery to get an apartment together. Can you imagine the fuss A-Rod’s going to be getting from 60 year old orthodontists or lawyer Yankee fans on the UES? It’s all 60 year old orthodontists or lawyer Yankee fans. Sure he’d be closer to Wall Street and those kind of douchenozzles, but at least going to the Whole Foods he won’t be assaulted by the cooler-than-thou kids on the Bowery who’d rather wear an outdated keffiyeh than acknowledge anything sportier than their Chucks.
MADGE, A-ROD HUNT LOVE NEST [NY Post]
Image [SI]