Plaxico Burress Lack Strip Club Etiquette

Oh man, so how many laws did Plaxico Burress break that night when he shot himself in the leg a couple of weekends ago? No, we’re not talking about law laws, but laws of just common decency? First we learned that he wore sweatpants to a club, and now we may know the reason why. The New York Post shows the wide receiver, who’s been axed for the season by the club, chowing down on a post-Thanksgiving feast at a strip club named Head Quarters (mmm, klassy!), downing Patron with Antonio Pierce. And that’s not even the worst of it.

A surly, slobbish Burress ate “like an animal,” using his bare hands to snatch pieces of workers’ turkey and stuff his face at the Head Quarters club on Nov. 28, a source said.

Ay, que salvaje. As we should know, that’s what our mother says every time she sees us eat during the holidays. But again, that’s not even the worst of it.

Burress, 31, already was known at the club for being a “cheap,” customer, and “very rude, conceited, full of himself,” sources said. “He’s the most unpopular celebrity that’s been there,” said another source, adding he routinely paid strippers the minimum $20 for lap dances, in contrast to other big-name customers, who fork over as much as $200.

Oh man, that’s messed up. I thought what you tipped a stripper was privileged information, like attorney-client privilege. Because seriously, if we knew that they’d start talking about that, we’ll just start “accidentally” bumping our crotches against women on the subway. Sure it’s creepy and illegal, but it’s a lot better on the wallet.
PLAX’S NAKED BOOTLEG [NY Post]