This Could Be You: Europe’s Top Sperm Donor

“Flying” Dutchman Ed Houben has beaten the fertility clinics by spreading his seed to 52 families across Europe the old fashioned way: through the internet. It seems there is a shortage of sperm donors in Europe thanks to legislation being passed that grants offspring the right to their father’s identity and Ed, who says he does it only for the joy of giving, is reaping the benefits of his “ballsy” attitude towards paternity. He recently talked to Vice magazine about the ins and outs [Ed: Heh.] of his system:

Ed: I used to travel all over Holland, Belgium, and sometimes even Germany to donate, but now I ask people to come to the city I live in, Maastricht. Then they book a hotel. I would invite those people to my house, but I’ll wait until my mother moves out of my place to the retirement home. When those people check into the hotel, I stop by and withdraw myself [Ed: No pun.] to the toilet to masturbate. There’s no sex involved. When I’m done, I usually sit and wait until the woman is done inseminating herself and then I leave. We repeat this process until the woman is pregnant. After that, we sometimes keep in touch, or I hear nothing from them ever again. It depends on what the mother wants. The only thing I don’t do is accept parental responsibilities. I’m clear about that up front.

Vice: Do you have a girlfriend?

Ed: No. I’m a shy man, so I never approach women on my own. I don’t go out much either, so there’s no meeting women that way. I also believe in love at first sight, which makes it even more difficult. Some women I donated sperm to fell in love with me, but the feeling was never mutual.

So a guy who lives with his mother and can’t talk to women is impregnating them with no consequences and even having to beat some off with a stick? Imagine how well a guy with social skills could be cleaning up over there.
A SPERM DONOR WHO HAS 46 KIDS [Vice]
Meet Europe’s top sperm donor [The Sun]
Oh come on now, chaps [The Sun]