Obama’s Ominously Titled Limo, “The Beast,” To Usher Him To His Place As Anti-Christ

Ooh! General Motors released pics of Barack Obama’s state-of-the-art Cadillac limousine, “The Beast,” and guess what? It looks exactly like any other presidential limo. Like Obama himself, it seems to be black and impenetrable, but does the nickname secret service personnel gave the car confirm what his detractors have been saying for ages–that he is, in fact, the foretold anti-christ predicted to win over everyone with his cunning charms before enslaving us to the Devil? A diagram of the car is after the jump to help you decide.

Specs are short on the presidential ride, as in General Motors representative David Caldwell told the press, “One of the specifications is that we don’t talk about the specifications.” (How Fight Club.) So we don’t have much to go on. The vehicle is thought, though, to have heavy armor at least 5 inches thick, bullet-proof glass, run-flat tires and a completely sealed interior to protect against a chemical attack. And you KNOW it has a banging sound system. BANG & Olufsen, that is, what-what?! Also known: some parts of the cabin were cut and sewn by hand, (By grown Americans, presumably, not wee brown children.) and the rear passenger space includes an “extensive executive compartment” with “mobile office features.” But what has us most intrigued is the presidential blood Geekology purports it to have. Perfect for medical emergencies and satanic rituals.
America will get it’s first glimpse of “The Beast”, which is to say they’ll see a hazy figure waving from within a black blob that’s whizzing by, on the morning of the inauguration. The aforementioned diagram, also from Geekology, below.

Obama’s ‘Beast’ of a car revealed [BBC News]
Cadillac Unveils Images of New Presidential Limo [Fox News]
New Presidential Limo Ready For Action Jan 20 [Geekology]