Transformers Makes a Number 2

Them's fightin' words

Transformers 2: Rise of the Fallen is out today and the initial reaction has been that dressing up a turd with lots of explosions and big titty actresses doesn’t mean it’s not a turd.

Rise of the Fallen is the sequel to the highly successful 2007 Transformers, the revamp of the old TV show about robots that transform into cars and other machines. They were both directed by human suckmachine Michael Bay, possibly the worst director in the history of film. He brought us such steaming shitburgers with cheese as Armageddon and Pearl Harbor. In spite of having produced this ocular rape he is again given the chance to direct a movie.

The film stars ass-pucker faced Shia LeBouf and professional sexpot Megan Fox as the two earthly buddies of the giant Autobots in their war against the evil Deceptacons. Apparently Lebouf is receiving coded info in weird Transformer language about a coming attack by the Deceptacons who will use the “All-Spark” to revive Megatron who…oh who cares? BOOM! (cue machine Gun fire!) Robots fighting, boom! Look! Megan Fox’s tits!

Michael Bay comes from the throw some stuff together school of film making. Explosions+boobies+shiny things+slow motion shots of helicopters=movie. Well…yeah…maybe? But not a good one. Some might say that it is not meant to be good, it is meant to just be entertaining. The question is whether this kind of thing is really entertaining or is it that he has so much contempt for his audience that he figures that if he distracts us with explosions and boobs we won’t question that the movie doesn’t make sense? Take the original Star Wars, Indiana Jones, or this summer’s Star Trek for example, all entertaining and yet not stupid.

We’ll see if Megan Fox’s awesome boobage is enough of a floatation device to keep this franchise from sinking.

The boobs are made for "Acting"