Debunking Moronic Lunar Landing Hoax Believers in Three Easy Steps For The Apollo 11 40th Anniversary

It was forty years ago today that Apollo 11, in a feat of engineering, willpower, imagination, and brutal courage that will likely remain unequaled for generations if not centuries, landed on the surface of the moon and cemented America’s place in the hearts and imaginations of the citizens of the world. Well, most of them. There are still a few crazy nutters out there who insist the whole thing was faked. Here are a few simple facts to bring up if you wind up cornered by one of these jerkholes at a party.

There is a lot out there, and you should read it all (and watch the Mythbusters episode on this, because Adam and Jamie get just as pissy about this as we do), but here are the basic lessons:

• THE MOON IS NOT THE EARTH - I know, it seems simple, but it debunks pretty much any illiterate hoax theory.  Most importantly, the surface of the moon is not the surface of the Earth. Lunar dust has unique properties in the way it clumps and, most importantly, reflects light. That’s why, when you see pics of Buzz Aldrin in the shadow of the lander or in that one famous photo that Neil Armstrong took of him (above) it appears that there’s more than one light source. There IS: the moon itself, reflecting the light of the Sun. Further, that’s why the footprints stay as well as they do without any moisture:  they don’t need it.  The properties of moon dust allow it to clump better than dirt on Earth, mostly because it is relatively undisturbed by cosmic atmosphere.
• PHYSICS CHANGES IN A VACUUM, DUMMY - Perhaps your “friend” wants to talk about the flag and how it appears to be waving when there is, in fact, no wind on the moon to make the flag wave. Remind them that a space vacuum (a) does not immediatly iron things, dummy and (b) there is no wind on the moon and therefore there is no drag either. So the flag that was planted on the moon would, yes, still be able to flap until it comes to rest. This same principle explains the perfect parabolic motion of any dust that was kicked up by the lander or by the astronaut’s footsteps.
• EITHER THE CONSPIRACY IS WORLD-WIDE, OR YOU’RE WRONG - What, you really thought NASA was the only one looking at the sky that day? The mission was independently tracked by various agencies throughout the world from (among others) Madrid, the UK, and Russia. Most importantly, subsequent non-NASA probe missions have returned to the moon and taken photographs of detritus left bypast moon missions, inclduing the Apollo 11 lander itself. And if you ever get your hands on a decent laser you ought to try pointing it at the moon, because the retroreflectors left behind will ping that beam right back to you.

Bad Astronomy has a much more comprehensive list and more technical specifics if you really want to get down to it, as does Wikipedia, but this is the basic jist. And just why does this get to us as much as it does? Well, the whole “defense of science” thing aside, it’s just the simple fact that astronauts are pretty much the baddest motherfuckers in the world who aren’t named Chuck Yeager. These are the type of men who, when asked if they want to be strapped inside a teeny metal can and fired off into uncertain danger and possible fiery death, say,”OK, cool. What time?” And, on top of that courage, they still have to be smart enough to do complicated physics on the fly in the event that something goes wrong so they don’t– whaddayacallit –burn up and die in front of the world. That deserves our respect, goddammit, more than some jerkoff throwing a ball to another jerkoff.

So, in that spirit, here’s that great video of Buzz Aldrin just cold punching that ignorant asshole who directed A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Moon. We salute you, sir.

Fox TV and the Apollo Moon Hoax [Bad Astronomy]
Are Apollo Moon Photos Fake? [Goddard's Journals]