The Official Anyguey Offer To President Obama re: Cultural Bullshit

It took a full week for President Obama to make a fairly generic response to the death of Michel Jackson, a delay which he attributed to nobody bothering to ask him about it.  This simply will not do, Mr. President!  WE WILL ASK YOU THESE QUESTIONS ABOUT POP EPHEMERA.

We were watching the press conference the day after MJ died, in which Obama and German Chancellor Angela Merkel held forth on any number of things, but never ever ever got around to talking about how much their lives changed when “Off The Wall” came out. And they clearly wanted to.

The dude is cool, and he gives great oratory, and we obviously need a statement from him every time anything significant happens in the pop cultural world.  That’s why, in the spirit of transparency, Anyguey clearly needs special access to every Presidential press conference to ask him about cool pop culture shit, especially Latino shit. We will humbly fulfill our duty to get a Presidential statement on anything and everything we actually care about, and hopefully Obama will relish the opportunity to take a break from all these harder questions about Tim Geithner or whatever.

We already have a few questions ready! Mr. President:

• Where do you stand on the Perez Hilton/Will.I.Am fight that has shaken our nation to its core?
• Shakira’s new hairdo:  who’s she trying to kid, huh?
• Ricky Martin gay?  Si or no?
• If Neil Patrick Harris does a good job hosting the Emmy’s will you repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell?
• Will you categorically agree to bomb any country that defeats Team USA in the World Cup?  Follow-up: how many bombs do we have?
• Who do you think’s gonna win “Daisy of Love”?  It’s gotta be London, right?
• Finally, sir: Will the presence of Hillary Duff ruin the singular artistic vision of “Gossip Girl”?

We’re just getting started here, and you can be there’s plenty more where that came from.  So feel free to get in contact with us, Mr. President.  And feel free to call us the night before a press conference like you did Nico Pitney, because sometimes its funny to see people get upset over nothing.

Got any more questions we can ask the President?  Go ahead and leave them in the comments (but be cool, man.  This ain’t Free Republic or anything).

Obama says he grew up listening to Michael Jackson [AP]