Brian Anderson Traded For Mark Kotsay By Racist Maniac Ozzie Guillen

Brian Anderson was traded yesterday for the Red Sox’s Mark Kotsay by White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen. This trade came as a surprise to no one as Anderson and Guillen had been at odds for years, and Anderson’s record has been less than stellar. Meanwhile, as we previously reported, Guillen has been accused of being a racist for creating a mostly Latino team and starting white players, like Anderson, less often. For this reason, Anderson has said he would welcome a trade and a chance to start over away from the dark clutches of tío Ozzie. It’s a sign of the times that Guillen has joined the illustrious rank of modern day bigotry known as: The Reverse Racists!

Ozzie Guillen is crazy, let’s just lay that right out on the table. He’s not Jeffrey Dahmer type crazy, as he will probably not eat you [Ed. Note: Don't take my word on that. I don't want to get sued if he takes a bite out of you.] In spite of this, (or because of it?) he is one of the most successful managers in the game. He pulled the White Sox out of their decades long losing streak to win the World Series in 2005. The Sox have done well with manic Hispanic Ozzie at the helm, which you have to respect in spite of his love of being a weirdo. Anderson isn’t too good, and Guillen has the right to not like him. Race has nothing to do with it because suck is suck at the end of the day. Ozzie dismissed these charges by saying:

”What he needs to do is start playing better. It’s been four years, and I’ve got a lot of e-mails from people calling me racist and stuff because ‘I don’t like Anderson.’ Well, when you don’t like the players, they don’t last too long. When I don’t like one player, believe me, he’ll be out of here in a hurry because I’ve got the power”.

See that? He has the power just like He-Man. So why all this talk about racism? Isn’t it a manager’s prerogative to get rid of the dead weight on his team? It’s part of a growing trend among certain sectors of white America to ring the alarm bell of reverse racism every time some someone like Sonya Sotomayor or Barack Obama threaten their worldview. It wasn’t that long ago when most baseball teams looked like the glee club at a Ku Klux Klan rally and Latinos and Blacks were nowhere to be seen. So here is Guillen, a Latino who is very good at his job, who is not playing a sucky player who happens to be white. Baseball has largely been going all spicy and Latino for many years because a lot of the talent comes from places like Puerto Rico, The DR, Cuba, and Panama. White America needs to realize that we ethnic types are not here to oppress them, but to succeed in our own right, so we too can have a slice of the American flan.

Ozzie Guillen is nuts though.

White Sox Land Kotsay For Anderson [MLB.com]
Ozzie Called Racist For Anderson Demotion [Chicago Sun-Times]