Fancy Jaked Swimsuit Turns Swimmers Into Ass-Bearing Superathletes

Everybody across the universe had a good, old time yesterday laughing at poor Ricky Berens swimming with his ass hanging out, but this is no isolated incident: it happened to an Italian swimmer about a month ago, and another guy yesterday in Rome. Also, the Jaked brand suits they were both wearing are at the center of a big controversy, because some say their fancy design gives swimmers an unfair advantage. When they’re not splitting in half in front of the world, that is.

The high-tech suits in question, made by Italian company Jaked, are all the rage in the swimming world because their polyurethane design provides greater buoyancy in the water, allowing for greater speed. This is also the reason that FINA, the governing body of world swimming, has banned them. But then Jaked complained so they unbanned them. And then re-banned them, but only for suits with more than 50% polyurethane. They announced this morning that there will be a total ban in place by April or May of next year, with standards for thickness and textile makeup yet to be decided.

Of course, in the meantime, swimmers are still totally allowed to compete with them, leaving some observers rolling their eyes at the fifteen world records set so far at the World Championships. It’s gotten so bad that Michael Phelp’s coach, Bob Bowman, has threatened to pull his boy from competition until all suits are banned.

But still there’s that whole ass-bearing thing. Jaked boasts of their suit’s advanced “thermowelding” technology that makes seams obsolete, but is that thermowelding the reason these suits keep busting? A month ago nice Italian lady swimmer Flavia Zoccari (pictured above) broke down in tears when her suit split and bared her butt, disqualifying her from competition. And just yesterday, while everyone was e-mailing pics of Ricky Berens, American swimmer Tyler Clary narrowly avoided the same fate when his suit split before he could make it out to the pool.

So what gives, Jaked? Is this some nefarious plot by an Italian designer with a butt fetish? “We’ll make the greatest, most technologically advanced swimsuits in the world, except for the material in the back. This is going to be fun.”

So for now it’s really up to the swimmers, and we’re kind of enjoying the moral dilemma this has created. Some consider the suits cheating and, just yesterday Gemma Spofforth set a world record in the 100 meter backstroke wearing a good old fashioned Speedo. “I’ve said all along,” she said, “it’s not the suit, it’s the swimmer.” So what’ll it be, swimmers? You gonna rock it old school, or are you gonna tempt fate? Because you could either wind up with a world record, or with your ass hanging out. Is it worth it knowing that Michael Phelps could be dressed up like a college football mascot and he’d still kick our asses?

Top Italian swimmer in tears after being disqualified [Daily Mail]
Phelps’ coach threatens to pull swimmer from meets over suit flap [AP]
Suit malfunction leaves Clary scrambling [AFP]
FINA Says Suit Ban Could Be Delayed [Washington Post]