Learn Yoga Now: Wanderlust Festival Is Any Guey’s Dream

We missed the inaugural Wanderlust Festival celebrating yoga, music and nature in Lake Tahoe, California this past weekend, but we’ll def be making it next year. Why? Look, we’re damn sure music and nature are awesome. And this fest featured acts we’d love to check such as Common, Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings, and Girl Talk performing in an idyllic scene in Squaw Valley. But what the fuck is yoga? Yoga is for girls, right?

Yes. Yoga is for girls. Specifically, yoga is for flexible, fit women of all kinds of sexy shapes and sizes. And yoga is about moving that sexy body in all kinds of sexy stretches and poses that make such body look damn, damn sexy. The point is, as you have likely gathered, YOGA IS SEXY.

Agreed? Cool. Now imagine you and a homey unleashing your provocative power upon a gaggle of sexy ladies popping their bodies and then partying balls out to jamtastic music all night long in a mountain paradise. The freaking place is called Squaw Valley.

So now you’re thinking, ok fuck yeah, let’s do this, I’m about to bust a yoga nut. Well, ok, hold on for a sec. You have to learn your downward facing dogs and king dancer poses in advance to develop sufficient cred to make things happen.  Here’s a quick list of how to handle yourself in yoga classes as you prepare for Wanderlust 2009:

1. Be patient and open minded.
2. Try to get stretchy without being sketchy.
3. Take it seriously and learn some go-to moves.
4. Don’t be a skeevy, leering weirdo.
5. Be friendly, meet women and gain their trust.
6. Keep your boners to a minimum.

Yikes, that last one could be a problem. Somehow, you’ve got to wear out the skeet dragon beforehand so it’s not raring to go each class. Fortunately, as always, Anyguey is here to help. In furtherance of your pursuit of wanderlusty yoga mastery, we invite you to blow off some steam with a wide ranging gallery highlighting the bodacious beauty of yoga.

Click here or on the alluring Lotus for a full gallery: