Enormous Orgy Breaks Out At Super-Fancy Party You Just Knew Was Happening Somewhere

Oh, here’s some fun news from across the pond! A masked ball held in a 17th-century manor home in Somerset, England erupted in a big awesome orgy, and the owner of the house was told by police that there was nothing they could do because it was a private event with consenting adults, all 350 of them. We declare today international England Is Way Cooler Than We Thought Day.

Pretty much every detail of this story sounds like it was totally made up by some drunk asshole friend of yours, which is why it’s so great.  Basically, a Dutch company rented out the house and all the super-rich partiers showed up and danced from nine to midnight, at which point (Drunk Asshole Friend interjects: “I shit you not…”) one of the organizers announced, “‘The moment has come. The spell has begun.” And then everyone just up and started fucking.

The shocked owner of the house tried the police, who said they could not do a thing, so he just sent the impressionable staff home so they wouldn’t have to witness all the hot, gruesome swinger action. Two 19-year old staffers left, because they are lame-o’s.

This is easily the best part of the story from the Telegraph, a quote from the owner of the house:

“The first thing we saw was one couple at it on a window sill. When the haze from the dry ice in the disco room cleared we realised it was going on everywhere.”

Man, that is just beautiful. And not to get too Class Warrior on you, but it just goes to show you how the rich have got it made. Dry ice? That’s lovely. As men, pretty much all of us have either tried to or fully supported someone else trying to get two chicks to make out with them at some crappy party. Maybe if you had sports cars and fancy costumes and a huge English manor, you’d have an easier time getting the job done.

Masked ball descends into orgy [Telegraph UK]