McKensie Morrison Is Married And Her Husband Is In Prison. What?

This whole mess with Tennessee State Senator Paul Stanley and his 22-year old mistress, McKensie Morrison, is just getting weirder and more tawdry by the day. Now, it turns out, young McKensie is married, not to her jerkwad boyfriend who tried to extort the Senator, but to some guy who’s currently locked up in prison in Florida. And we found some horrible cringe-inducing video of the Senator and Morrison playfully bantering at “Intern-Parents Day” in the State Senate. Y’all, white people is crazy.

First the marriage: McKensie Morrison, it turns out, was married in Daytona Beach in 2005 to a guy named Randy Mueller, who is currently serving a seven year sentence for aggravated battery involving a deadly weapon. Morrison was 18 at the time (and, no, it wasn’t some weirdo Spring Break hitch or whatever– she went to high school in Volusia County.) Mueller filed for dissolution of marriage on June 1st of this year, but the case is listed as “open” so they’re still technically married.

So, TO RECAP: McKensie gets married right out of high school, but her husband winds up in prison for beating the hell out of someone and she moves to Tennessee without getting divorced. Then she starts dating Joel Watts, presumably after moving to Nashville, and begins a legislative internship with State Senator Paul Stanley, with whom she begins to have an affair. Then, in April of this year, her jealous boyfriend attempts to extort the Senator, after finding kinky pics the Senator took of McKensie, and is arrested. Two months later, her husband files for dissolution of marriage.

IF YOU SAW THIS IN A MOVIE YOU WOULD GET MAD AT THE MOVIE FOR BEING UNREALISTIC. In fact, we’re starting to think that this is all some sort of elaborate performance art or something. What’s gonna come out over the weekend: some uncle who’s a trained CIA killer? Maybe a cousin who runs a brothel and offers golden nuggets of wisdom in troubled times. Is Denise Richards involved? What about the part where Bill Murray pulls a fast one on everyone and ends up with all the money?

Speaking of the cinema, if you saw this scene in a movie about a Senator having an affair with his intern you’d probably think it was way too “on the nose” to be funny. But, since it’s real life, and since it was taped on “Intern-Parents Day” while they were having the affair and shortly before the extortion scheme began, it’s pretty amazing. Try not to scream when Senator Stanley introduces McKensie’s family, we dare you. It will be impossible, because the Senator opens the proceedings by jokingly saying to all the parents, “We have all dressed up, we have tried to mind our manners.” Because, ha ha, you parents wouldn’t believe what’s going on when you’re not here. No, really.

“Help us manage the interns better”??? Oh, lordy. Here’s McKensie’s poor Dad and Grandpa offering up some adorable story about her, like, sneaking cookies before dinner or whatever, and Senator Stanley’s just smiling and nodding. “Yes. Wonderful anecdote. I am having sex with your daughter.” He also recognizes another intern and her family by saying that they were working to “bring her out of her shell,” which obviously means that Paul Stanley is running a sex farm at the state capital.

And hey thanks random other Republican on the council for making it even funnier by saying of your guest, “She’s a Democrat but we’ll still pray for her soul.” Yeah, it’s HER soul that needs saving in this room. He adds, “She’s a friend of my wife so it’s cool,” which, in the context of the Tennessee State Senate Sex Farm, just sounds wrong.

Also, it deserves repeating, McKensie Morrison is hawt, much easier on the eyes than anyone involved in a political sex scandal that we can remember. Well, Elliott Spitzer’s prostitute was a looker, but McKensie’s got that special kind of “Scarlett Johansson should play you in the movie” prettiness that’s usually nowhere near humble state politics. Kudos.

Stanley’s Mistress Married [WREG - Memphis]
Tennessee General Assembly Senate Commerce, Labor and Agriculture Committee [TNGA.Granicus.com]