Pete Rose Could Get Into Baseball Hall of Shame…We Mean Fame

Pete Rose might have his lifetime ban from baseball lifted by baseball commissioner Bud Selig. This would make Rose eligible for induction into The Baseball Hall of Fame, which Rose and his pals have been advocating for years. Rose was definitely a great player and manager, of that there is no doubt. But perhaps the main reason Rose should be inducted is because he ushered in the modern era of baseball, the era of the criminal slimeball.

In the years from 1963 to 1986, Pete Rose was considered one of the best players to have ever played the game. He is the Major League leader in hits, games played, at-bats, and outs as well as winning three World Series and a bunch of other awards. He later became the manager of the Cincinnati Reds and seemed to have secured his place in the pantheon of baseball, all of this in spite of his Moe Howard bowl haircut.

Then, in 1989 he was caught gambling, allegedly on his own team…to lose. The problem is that he was the manager of the Reds at the time and could, if he wanted, orchestrate a loss. He was dismissed from his job as manager and was banned for life from the game by commissioner A. Bartlet Giamatti (no relation to the chubby star of American Splendor.) There was a media shitstorm the likes of which wouldn’t be seen in baseball until the current steroid scandal. The Baseball Hall of Fame voted to enforce the ban on Rose by putting him on the “ineligible” list.

There is an ongoing debate as to whether the players that have been caught using steroids should also be banned. This would make someone like sausage enthusiast Roger Clemens (one of the greatest pitchers ever) ineligible from the Hall of Fame. The thinking is that these steroid users had an unfair advantage over their fellow players and that, perhaps without the ‘roids, these guys would never have played as well as they did. Pete Rose, of course, was not a steroid user and earned his records through talent and hard work, but he committed the cardinal sin of baseball: gambling.

The reason for this hatred of gambling goes back to 1917 when the Chicago White Sox threw the world series in exchange for serious mullah from gangster Aronold Rothstein. Back then baseball players made little money and were bound to unfair contracts by unscrupulous owners. Many people have argued that, given the economic limitations imposed on the 1917 Sox, they should be forgiven for their sin. The White Sox did not win another World Series until 2005, when they beat the Houston Astros [Ed. Note: Friggin' White Sox!] Rose is often cited in the same sentence with Shoeless Joe Jackson, one of the players involved in the fix in 1917. Jackson is easily one of the greatest players of all time and yet, almost 100 years later, he is still banned from the Hall of Fame.

Rose spent several years denying that he had gambled on the game even though everyone knew he was lying. In 2004 he released his memoir, My Prison Without Bars, in which he admitted having gambled on baseball, though he says he never bet on the Reds. This only made Selig dig in his heels on lifting the ban.  So why the sudden change of heart?

The answer lies in the very corruption that Rose helped usher into America’s past time. Rose was one of the first players to be caught committing a crime. Since then, you have some of the best players of the last 20 years breaking both federal and baseball laws by taking drugs (steroids and otherwise.) Players are also known to take advantage of high priced prostitutes, graft, and ad money. In the distant past it was considered uncouth for players to participate in advertisements. Now Derek Jeter has a cologne and A-Rod is selling trips to his native Dominican Republic. Rose led the way and showed the next generation of players that you could still be considered a great player while doing whatever the hell you want. Fans have also become used to this kind of behavior, shrugging their shoulders when a player gets caught doing something illegal or unethical and Rose has painted himself as a martyr at the hands of an unfair moralistic baseball commission. Finally, he may have earned some sympathy for his constant belly aching, “Boo hoo! I said I was sorry! Love me!”

After all, given the criminal nature of modern baseball, what’s a little gambling?

Perhaps the solution is to open an alternative Baseball Hall of Fame. Call it The Baseball Hall of Shame or The International House of Baseball Assholes. They can open it in Newark or Dumpwater, Florida or something. Rose should be the first inductee, just as Babe Ruth was the first at the Hall of Fame.