Study Shows Women Are Evolving Into Hotter Beasts, Thanks To Men

A study released recently out of the University of Helsinki has found that beautiful women are being naturally selected for breeding more often than their less hot counterparts. The study says that physical attractiveness is a “highly heritable trait, which disproportionately increases the reproductive success of daughters much more than that of sons.” Thus, women are more able to engage in breeding activities if they are hot, but physically attractive men aren’t so lucky.

For men, it has been said and we all know, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women. Chico. For women, scientists seem to suggest that it goes something like, first you get the titties. If you don’t get the titties, then you better get the ass. If you don’t get either the ass or the titties, then you better have a pretty face. If you’ve got one of three, and/or you are totally willing to fuck, then you get the babies.

Wait, no, that’s actually not what the scientists are saying. They’re saying that physically attractive women, as assessed from photographs taken during the study, which presumably focused on an overall pleasant appearance and not on such women’s asses, titties or libidos, are more inclined to be selected for breeding. That’s breeding, not just sexing. We all know that most women can get laid any day of the week if they get off their couch, put on a tank top and go to a place frequented by drunken heteros. They just need a hook, like nice titties, a curvaceous ass, sultry eyes, a pretty smile and/or an unfettered desire to dine on skeet salads.

But that type of one night stand activity isn’t making any evolutionary headway. Evolution is dependent on breeding and generally, one isn’t trying to breed with the chickenheads you bring home to wear out. You select a woman for breeding if she’s that take home to mom type ho; someone you’re proud to show off to your friends. So, in fact, the scientists seem to suggest that genuinely pretty women, regardless of sexual promiscuity, asses and/or titties, are leading our next generation into higher levels attractiveness.

But wait, isn’t it the men who should get credit for the conclusion of this study? Men are the ones who are judiciously deciding to breed with the hot ones and wear a connie with the ones that are broke down. Men, as is so often the case, are leading women to where they otherwise might not go: hotness. You’re welcome, ladies.