Taco Bell Replaces McDonald’s As Official Fast Food Sponsor Of The NBA: A Victory For Mexico?

The NBA announced recently that beloved Taco Bell will replace icky McDonald’s as the NBA’s “fast food partner” next season. Clearly, Taco Bell isn’t the best food ever. Some people say TB makes some of the worst food ever. But it is supposed to be Mexican food. And Mexican food is definitely some of the best food ever. Perhaps, it’s better to call Taco Bell a Mexican derivative. That makes Mexico less blameworthy when you’ve downed a few chalupa supremes while out on a drunken bender and end up shit staining your undies with spray farts while drooling on some random chick who let you sleep in her vagina.

But look, say you’re far far away from the genuine tantalizing taquerias you adore, e.g. in da suburbz, and you’re drunk as shit, driving around looking for something to eat. This will happen like everyfuckingnight if you live in da suburbz. Trust. In that instance, TBell has GOTS to be better at squashing your hunger pangs than McDonald’s, right!? And there’s a dang good reason. McDonald’s is a craptastic fast version of American diner food, whereas Taco Bell is a craptastic fast version of Mexican food. Do the math.

The NBA is probably just looking to line its pockets and doesn’t give a goodgoddamn who joins its fast food partnership, and we don’t exactly look at this as a victory for Mexicans because it doesn’t do anyone any good to think of Taco Bell’s offerings as genuine Mexican goodness. Buuuut, bottom line should be this: Burgers v. Burritos: Burritos win. Fries v. Nachos: Nachos win. Nuggets v. Tacos: Tacos win. Latinos are taking over Los Estados people, and oddly enough, Taco Bell is at the forefront of the new empire.

Annnnd, as an added bonus, this glorious partnership will no doubt lead to many more commercials like this one from our childhood featuring Shaq and his taco neck syndrome:

Rejoice.