The Running of the Bulls Bodycount: Your Grand Champion Crowned

It’s been a long and beautiful journey this past week as we’ve joined Pamplona in celebrating The Mystery of the Adventurous Spirit That Drives Man, and also the intense hemorrhaging, shattered bones, futile screaming and televised death that drives some men who are crazy. But there can only be one winner of the Running Of The Bulls Bodycount, and the 2009 title is most richly deserved.

FINAL DAY
Spain has enjoyed a quite healthy advantage in this competition, but that’s no reason for other countries to simply lay down. Actually, if they DID simply lay down along the encierra maybe their home team would do better. Did anybody heed the call?

Apparently not. The eighth and final day of competition saw only four injuries, two minor and two major, with no gorings to speak of. And while there was a wide distribution of injuries across countries, it just wasn’t enough to loosen Spain’s stranglehold.

Scotland - 2 (cracked skull)
USA - 2 (fractured ankle)
France - 1 (twisted knee)
Spain - 1 (sprained ankle)

So let’s take a look at that final leaderboard and, oh my. Viva Spain!

FINAL SCORE
Spain - 74
USA - 10
UK - 8
Argentina - 5
Scotland - 3
Australia - 2
Ireland - 2
France - 2
Switzerland - 1

Whoa! An unimpeachable blowout victory for the home team at the Festival of San Fermin! Congratulations, Spain, on a job well done. You are the official winner of the 2009 Running Of The Bulls Bodycount and, as per our rules, have acquired the naming rights for the moon! We sincerely hope you put more thought into the new name of our natural satellite than you did the mascot of the festival, Mr. Testis.

So we close the book on The Running of the Bulls for this year, replete with the knowledge that no matter how many people senselessly die or are maimed, and no matter how many animals are needlessly tortured, this ancient tradition will continue to exist forever and ever because…well… We’ll have to get back to you about the “because.” In the meantime, enjoy this totally insane video of yesterday’s “run”, wherein Spanish cycling legend Miguel Indurain and hundreds of other crazy people took to the streets one last time dressed as monkeys and cows and a Cardinal who lives in a wall or something, finally overtaking a city bus and chanting in the streets because Hemingway told them it was cool.

4 injured, no gorings in last Pamplona bull run [AP]