5 Reasons We’re Stoked To See Sonia Sotomayor On The Supreme Court
6 August 2009, 5:45 PM. By Alejandro Paz
Sonia Sotomayor was confirmed to the Supreme Court of the United States today and we are creaming our jeans about it. Why? Whyyyyyyy? Well, we gots some reasons. Let us present to you: Anyguey’s 5 reasons why we’re stoked to see Sonia Sotomayor make it as a Supreme Court Justice.
1. She’s a Latina from the block.
This one is beyond obvs. Sonia is like JLo to us. She’s a famous Latina with a big ass brain who has overcome obstacles to thrive in a white male dominated world. We’re gonna love her regardless of whether she marries a chupacabra and has 100 different birthday parties.
2. She’s hot.
Sonia is one woman that is definitely getting hotter with age. She’s gonna be the sexiest Supreme Court Justice of all time. Well, at least until all the hotties from the block that she inspires to go to law school start growing up.
3. She’s wise.
Sonny isn’t just like kinda smart. She’s so intelligent, she’s got wisdom coming out her press-ons. She went to Yale Law School, which we think is like, maybe the second best law school in the country. And since she’s representing Latinos, there’s a high premium for her to be smart as hell and not dunce it up like Alberto Gonzales. What law school did he go to?
4. She’s fiery.
Justice Sotomayor will tear you a new asshole. At least, that’s what we hear. Some may decry the angry Latina stereotype, but her fearsome presence should be exceedingly effective on the bench. Lawyers will have to get their shit tight before answering her questions, lest they get a spiked heel thrown at them. Moreover, she’ll likely keep Justices Scalia and Thomas on their toes when either starts their conservobullshit.
5. She’s teaching people how to pronounce Spanish names.
Despite the fact that we’re all ANNOYED by the consistent mispronounciations of Sotomayor, the controversy has at least brought into light that Spanish is pronounced differently than English. So dudes, no more kaysadiLLAs or AllyJANdros. Our lives may become much easier because of Sonia’s struggle.
So, there. We love this abuelita, with her jet black tendrils and fierce analytical ability. What are your reasons to be pumped that Sonia Sotomayor is now a Supreme Court Justice?
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Alberto Gonzales went to Harvard Law. Saved you a Wiki search…
damn guest, you beat me to it.
and yale law is considered #1 in the legal community cause it doesn’t take 400+ students per class like hahvaaard. and for some reason law profs totally drool over other law profs who went to yale. unless you went to yale following in your yale-teaching brother’s footsteps and then you ended up teaching in the UC system. ahem. dont hate me, was just trying to make a joke…the UCs are great! :)
Yale is the top law school in the country and has been for about 15 plus years or so. My sister went there. She, too, is stoked as fuck about Sotomayor.
I hope that she’s as badass as crazy white men fear, but alas, I think she’ll be a moderate. What I know she will be: a walking pain in the ass to Alito. That fucker didn’t want women or ethnic minorities (since now Italian-Americans are “white”) going to Princeton and she not only went there but outperformed him! FUCK YOU, ALITO.
Seriously, So-So, if you’re reading this: first, put down the rum; second, do us all proud and be unapologetic about calling out bigoted shit, whether it’s racist, misogynistic, homophobic, etc. Stand up and realize that the Court is the last refuge for the disenfranchised, the marginalized. Do your duty and protect the rights of those who need it most. Okay, back to the rum.
honestly, i’m not expecting much of her in being souter’s replacement. alllllls i mean by that is her replacing him means that nothing on the court will change with those crucial and controversial 5-4 votes. and yeah, like you said, balancing out alito.
the real change on this court will happen with the replacement of kennedy. he’s the wild swing vote, and his is so crucial, it’s ridiculous. so when we replace him (or a conservative, but yah, fat chance to do so soon), then i will be able to “breathe.” i would really think the next replacement will be stevens or ginsburg, and again, anyone obama nominates as their replacements will be status quo.
which is kind of why changing public policy by lawsuits is a tedious process & why when it happens it’s a fucking big deal, why the courts kind of relegate themselves on the political spectrum, why the faster change happens with federal appointments in the lower courts and why that is crucial, why there should be term limits for all federally appointed judges. finally, changing public policy through legislative means is why i went to law school. and yes, as you can tell from the above, it was a UC.
She’s not hot! She looks like a bruja! Anyways… CONGRATULATIONS Sonia Sotomayor, you make us proud.
Reason # 6: She looked mean as fuck in her day: Watch out, Scalia!
http://img.timeinc.net/time/photoessays/2009/sotomayor_scotus/sotomayor_02.jpg