Anyguey Advice For Men: Maybe, Perhaps, Don’t Strip Naked, Punch A Few People, And Vomit On Yourself Whilst Flying

Welcome to Anguey Advice For Men, where we try to make sense of this mystery of human behavior we call manhood. In today’s edition, some basic etiquette for flying on a commercial airline: please don’t run around naked and punch any women you see who aren’t totally into it.

This bit of advice may sound a little out there, but it could have come in handy for one unfortunate gentleman on a Southwest airlines flight bound from Oakland. About twenty minutes into the flight, this 300-pound gentleman in an Oakland A’s hat exposed himself to the female passenger next to him, who then screamed. This apparently wasn’t the reception he was looking for so he punched her in the mouth. And then he turned and punched another woman and her husband sitting next to him and took off running to the back of the plane. Passengers were able to calm him down for a second, but then he stood up, took off all of his clothes, sat back down, and threw up.

The plane ended up turning around back to Oakland, where the guy was arrested and taken to the hospital (along with another passanger) and Southwest attempted the flight a second time. Some communters opted to cancel, however, because for some reason the sight of a naked three hundred pound man throwing up on himself put them off flying for a little while.

So, yeah. Was this guy crazy? Drunk? Well, even if he’s just nuts what fascinates us here, like with the previous installment of AAFM, is the way the anger here is triggered by women reacting negatively to sexual advances from dudes who are clearly insane. Like, even if the guy is insane, that root instinct and anxiety of “woman should want to look at my peen” is embedded somewhere in there, probably before things went totally rotten. And it’s that anxiety, and our Madonna/whore relationship with sex and women that we have in our fun little Puritannical American Experiment, that finds its way seeping into crazy brains of dudes in varying degrees.

And if it was booze, perhaps we could recommend stopping at the fifteenth or sixteenth beer or so? Which, we would imagine, it would take to make a three hundred pound guy wasted enough to rock it all the way to the horizon like this. Maybe he just dumped a little bucket of whiskey in his mouth before boarding. Anyway, know thyself, enormous booze hounds. Or try to remember a little saying we try to keep near and dear: “Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear. Beer before liquor you go on a screaming violent naked rampage.” God help us.

Flight from Oakland disrupted by naked man leaves passengers shaken [Mercury News]