Beach Wrestling: Make It Your Summertime Release

Beach wrestling is an ancient sport that’s been making a comeback as of late and we think we know why. Kicking someone’s ass on a beach is beastly, back-to-basics fun. They’re trying to make it an Olympic sport eventually, so y’all might want to start training your kids now. All it takes is a beach, board shorts and an intense desire to punish your opponent. Are you down? Know how to wrestle?

Wrestling is something you might learn in gym class, and maybe you even tried to join the wrestling team in school before your mom found out and thought you might get hurt and made you quit. So now you’re probably a wimpy bitch with a simmering rage, demanding release. And closure.

Beach wrestling can be your solution. All you gotta do is to get a bunch of friends together, buy some flashy ass board shorts and emblazon some catchy names on them like Sinister Surfer and/or Sandy Vagina. Then you get a dirty thirty of Natty Light and drive down to the beach for an ocean-side death match.

Just be sure to follow these simple rules:

1. On sand, make a 20′ diameter circle.
2. Begin in standing position.
3. You get 1 period with a maximum of 3 minutes.
4. 3 points wins the match.
5. 1 point for a throw, take down or push-out.
6. If you tie, you get a one 1 min. sudden death period. If tied after sudden death period it’s the referee’s decision.
7. No stoppages, except by referee or to get sand out of face.
8. No timeouts, no injury time, no blood time…or wrestler will default match.
9. Penalties: you get 1 warning but on the 2nd warning, the wrestler defaults the match.
10. No kicking, punching, or slapping.
11. No butting heads, attacking the face, pulling hair, or throwing sand.
12. No holds that lead to dislocation, head-only holds or holds/moves with the purpose to injure.

Think you’re up to it? Did we mention that the ladies be beach wrestling too?

Click here or on the faces of pain to view a full gallery: