Heroic Security Guard Prevents Cristiano Ronaldo From Even Having To Look At His Crazy Ex

Hey it’s Nereida Gallardo, remember her? She’s that one ex-girlfriend of Cristiano Ronaldo’s that told all the tabloids he was a chest-waxing mama’s boy after they broke up, and if this picture is any indication Ronaldo has not forgotten. She tried to talk to him outside of a nightclub in Majorca, but security held her back, allowing Ronaldo to walk past undisturbed without even acknowledging her presence. We think we speak for all men everywhere when we say, “Where do you sign up for that valuable service?”

Of course, Nereida is a bit of a nutter, having tattooed Ronaldo’s initials on her wrist after only being together for nine months and then fame-whoring her way into a topless spread in Interviú (where she, naturally, talked shit about her ex.) She insisted they were still together after he’d dumped her by text, apparently ignoring all the tabloid pics of him out with other women. And now this latest confrontation, with her hollering, “But he’s my ex-boyfriend!” while Ronaldo’s guard gives her The Heisman (arm extended and everything.) Sad. Just sad, man. All she’s left to do is call him an asshole through the magic of obscene gestures.

The Mirror helpfully diagrammed the exchange for all you sports-chalkboard enthusiasts out there:

Last week news broke about Cowboy’s QB Tony Romo putting out a “red alert” for his security guards not to allow Jessica Simpson on his property after their break-up, and now this. There are many perks to being an obscenely rich, globally-recognized athlete, and “Not having to deal with your ex-girlfriend if you don’t want to” seems pretty high up there. We’ve all been there, at some bar or wedding or class reunion or whatever, and some ex-girlfriend you absolutely do not want to talk to catches your eye and, “Holy crap! She’s coming over here. Oh God, please don’t let this be completely awful.” How great would it be if, in that moment, some uniformed guard came out of nowhere and saved you all the awkwardness?

Really, this is a service that we all need, men and women alike, and there’s good money out there for people willing to make it. Of course, dudes like Ronaldo and Romo could just man up and deal with unpleasant people in their lives the way the rest of us have to, but that’s hardly the point. There will be plenty of time for redemptive manning-up in the future. Now is the time for security guards, while we have our youth.

Talk to the hand: Cristiano Ronaldo’s ex-girlfriend held back by security as she confronts him in club [Daily Mail]