Stripper Pimps Been Pimping Strippers Since Strippers Been Stripping

What the hell is a stripper pimp? What’s the difference between a real pimp and a stripper pimp? Why do strippers even need pimps? Don’t they just need the bouncer to walk them to their car at the end of the night? On our favorite show right now, Real Chance Of Love, the “undomesticated” Aloha said that her stripper pimp starved her for 4 days, left her to die in the desert, and that her and Chance relate to each other because of their mental illness. So they can get crazy together. Wait, what? She had a stripper pimp? And he is what made her admittedly “a little cuckoo in the brain?” Was Aloha an alo-HO? NOOOOO, she says. It’s a difference.

We thought strippers were all going to college or teaching preschool. They be hanging with pimps? Bound to get the bottom of this, we used a newfangled beta site known only as “google” to obtain the answer. Here’s what we found:

Good question Air Force Girl. We can see how the question might relate to your world. Joe, a man whose answer is long and penetrating, reads as follows:

Ok, got it. Just like any other pimping relationship, pimping is a financial decision. Cause that little English major named Dazey Darling can’t make sure she’s got her phone paid for by herself. What else does Joe the Stripologist have to say:

Hold up. Let us get this straight. Strippers are wayward girls that act like children so the occasional beating makes sense. Sad but true, but it’s a lost cause cuz stippers are inherently bad people to begin with. Not a jaded answer, this is only the truth. Wow. First of all, strippers aren’t bad people, they are the most generous ladies of all, sharing their nakedness with our faces and groins. Some may be wayward, but fuck a pimp that’s gonna beat a woman who’s making him money by shaking her ass. Pimping ain’t easy, for sure, but neither is hoing. Or stripping. When it comes to pimping, we always agreed with Runs on Ramen:

Aww girl. That’s right. We all need to belong somewhere. And crazy ass wayward girls like Aloha, Cinnabunz and Crystal Chandelier just belong next to a stripper pimp who starves them and leaves them to die after taking money from their inherently bad asses. Oh wait, did we miss the entire point of the story? Maybe, but what’s the difference between a real pimp and a stripper pimp? Nothing.