Megan Fox’s Jennifer’s Body Promotional Tour Degenerating Into Her Talking About Threesomes With Andy Samberg and Jonah Hill

You know how women are always lying about “a sense of humor” being the most important thing when they’re looking for a man? Well, Megan Fox, in Cosmo no less, rocked this by talking excitedly about having a threesome with Andy Samberg and Jonah Hill. We support this fully, and she should dump her boyfriend today, and here’s why.

Obviously we’re all big fans of the lady around here, in no small part in reaction to a public persona that’s refreshingly weird and (purposefully) naughty, a far cry from the well-trained media darlings we’ve gotten used to over the years. And then, when asked by Cosmo what her ideal date was, she answered, “A sexy sandwich with Andy Samberg and Jonah Hill.” And now our wheels are a-turning.

Does this compute? A girl this impossibly hot, a Megan Fox, eschewing all the underwear models and motocross bad boys she could ever want in favor of pasty sweaty angry doofuses like Jonah Hill and Andy Samberg, just based on a sense of humor? Will Brian Posehn leave his wife for Olivia Wilde? Is she kidding, or does it give hope to dopey comedy boys everywhere?

It should, particularly since it would be a huge step up from her on-and-off relationship with Brian Austin Green. Let’s compare.

CLAIM TO FAME

• Brian Austin Green - The guy who wasn’t Luke Perry or Jason Priestley on Beverly Hills 90210
• Andy & Jonah - stars of Saturday Night Live and numerous Judd Apatow movies, respectively, with tons of internet/indie cred through Lonely Island and other tiny weirdo projects

Advantage: Andy & Jonah - Let’s get real. 90210 was fun and all, but any random episode of Laser Cats on SNL more than whips it to pieces.

PERSONALITY

• Brian Austin Green - non existant. Seriously. Read an interview with the guy. How does Megan Fox even hold a conversation with him?
• Andy & Jonah - Andy quote: “As far as I’m concerned, any movie that has chimps and space in it can’t be bad.” Jonah quote: “Every time Chris (McLovin) has sex, he has to send Judd a check.”

Advantage: Andy & Jonah - Who would you rather sit across a table from? A bland Hollywood actor type or a couple of dudes cracking wise?

RAP SKILLS

• Brian Austin Green
• Andy Samberg


Advantage: Samberg, but barely - Seriously, we were totally ready to laugh our asses off at BAG’s dumb rapping, but it’s not half bad. We dig the Tribe/Slum Village chilled out thing here, and while his inflection is occasionally goofy it’s not a total embarrassment. But Samberg is still the king here. Sure, the songs are funny or whatever, but they wouldn’t be if his spittin’-that-shit delivery wasn’t so on point.

LOOKS

• BAG - Was picked by Aaron Spelling to be a male icon on Falcon Crest and 90210
  
• Andy & Jonah - kind-of dorky looking and fat. OK, obese. But Andy’s not totally hideous, and Jonah could pass for a harmless teddy bear thing.
  

Advantage: BAG - Not really a contest. Just try to imagine all three of them in a shirtless push up contest. Or, better yet, do not do that at all.

THE OVERALL PACKAGE

• BAG - Dull and gives off this douchey vibe
• Andy & Jonah - Fun and entertaining, if lacking a bit in the looks department

Winners: Andy & Jonah - Well, actually, BAG is the real-life winner because he’s the one servicing Megan Fox. But in the world that should be, Andy & Jonah sandwiches totally rule. Just, if there’s a sex tape and it leaks there’s exactly zero chance that we’ll watch it, Megan Fox or no.

Megan Fox magazine cover hits gorgeous for October 2009 Cosmopolitan [Examiner]