Homely and Insane 22-Year Old Brooke Hundley Boned By ESPN Analyst Steve Phillips
21 October 2009, 2:22 PM. By Fidel Martinez
ESPN has suspended baseball analyst Steve Phillips after it was discovered that he was sticking his pen in the company’s butt fuggly ink, 22-year old assistant Brooke Hundley.
While we don’t condone Phillips’s infidelity, we certainly aren’t going to play the “it’s morally wrong!” bullshit card. Sometimes a guy needs to get his, and if he’s not getting it at home, he’s going to get it elsewhere. Our objection to this spectacular schadenfreude story is who he chose to permanently fuck his life up for.
Don’t get us wrong. We’re not shallow. Okay, we are, but if we were going to put ourselves in an awkward situation where we have a lot to lose–especially after deeding our multi-million dollar, five-bedroom home to our wife–we’d make sure that the juice is worth the squeeze. We would find ourselves the biggest and most succulent Florida orange and enjoy squeezing it and massaging it until the warm juice was all over our hand. That would be worth it. We wouldn’t do that for a bloated grapefruit.
The New York Post released earlier this morning a copy of the letter Hundley wrote to Phillips’s wife confessing to the affair. She also wanted to prove how off her fucking rocker and gullible she really is. Hundley writes that their first sexual encounter occured in his hotel suite in St. Louis.
Apparently Phillips banged her bareback after assuring her that he couldn’t get her preggers because he was snipped. While that may be the case, Hundley should have still made him bag it. A vasectomy doesn’t protect you from STDs. To further prove that she did let Phillips clean her pipes, Hundley went on to provide unwanted details about birthmarks around his crotchular region. Thanks alot. Now we have images of old man balls stuck in our head.
You sure know how to pick them there Steve. Yes, them. This isn’t the first time Phillips was involved in an affair that blew up in his face. In 1998, Phillips settled a sexual harrassment lawsuit with a woman named Rosa Rodriguez while he was employed General Manager of the New York Mets.
Click The Image Below To See A Gallery Of Steve Phillips’ Assistant, Brooke Hundley
ESPN’s Steve Phillips In Foul Affair With Production Assistant [NY Post]
Will People Ever Learn? [WEEI Sportsradio Network]
(19) 
Post Your Comment
Did you know you can now share a link, image or video?
Click to submit your own notas.
I think this site is hilarious most of the time. However, this article is off the hook sexist. I felt my face getting hot with rage as I scrolled down the page. Not funny to me at all.
If I’ve offended you, I sincerely apologize. My original intent was not to be misogynistic and enrage. Far from it. I was trying to be comical and it appears like I overstepped my bounds. We don’t mean to alienate.
Give me a break; the article was honest about something most guys would immediately have said to themselves. It’s shallow, sure, just like when a woman says it about a guy; but it’s non-violent and not worth getting upset over. I appreciate someone being straightforward about how the average person would react.
This post sucks. Seriously, bro, spending that much time writing about how this woman looks is, well, bush. It’s not like she’s a minger.
Perhaps the story could have focused on something else. I was trying to be funny, but I guess that’s not how it came off, particularly because of the choice of certain words. Thanks for your input.
Dude, I also have to apologize. That was pretty harsh of me to say that the piece sucked. My bad. I know that your intention was comical, and I should have let it slide.
Are you new working at this Web site. I don’t recognize your byline.
Ok Ok Ok, if he had to “get his”yea he could have chosen a more hotter version of what he “got”. 22yr old girls are still that, 22yrs old.If you have been married for a long time and you aint gettin it at home, they all start to look like Giselle, especially if she wants some of your pen
Phillips is a fool. If you’ve signed away your assets (whether you’re a man or a woman), don’t cheat, or at least do it with a prostitute, who’s not going to write home. Hundley may have hit a whole lot of branches on the ugly tree, but now she’ll always be able to tell her friends what the crotch region of a minor “celebrity” looks like, so good for her
This article is hysterical! Spot on. Bottom line is that Stupid Steve, who failed to throw his life away in 1998, tries again a decade later. Hey Marni, get the hint??? Time to dump his ass. Then, Stupid Steve can then sit by himself somewhere, wondering what his boys are doing, and contemplate was it all worth it for Brooke “Moo Cow” Hundley. I agree with the writer of the article — Steveo, if you’re going to take the plunge, find a hotty. Brooke sort of looks like Boomer Berman in a dress. I’m sure the MLB Channel will be hiring Steveo in the coming months.
geez this guy is one of THE worst commentators/analysts I have ever listened too. He’s right up there with Joe Morgan(great player, terrible commentator). I really hope ESPN decides not to bring him back
He’s living the american dream, working for ESPN and banging chicks half his age, God Bless America!
horribly offensive and sexist post. please stop writing.
Whats wrong with this guy?? I can’t see risking all for a fatty..and to above posters this is Hilarious! A man in that position surely has his pick of ladies, and he picks this chick! I don’t see how pointing out that she’s on the chubby side and not a total hottie is sexist..just stating the obvious! I hate how people have to protect everyones feelings…get over it! She’s fat..he’s rich and could get something better to have an affair with! They’re both a bit off their rocker and so what if people get a laugh out of it!?
Perhaps the dude has some sort of fat fetish, they way that Bill Clinton does. Or maybe his ex-wife was really skinny and anorexic and so he was trying to balance it out or something. Not sure if Steve Phillips has his pick of ladies though.
Nice to know the “american dream” is to get rich and “bang chicks half your age.” How mature and admirable an ambition. Too bad you (whoever you are) can’t rely on your good looks or charm to attract women, so you would rather rely on money and semi-fame to land one. Must suck to know you stand no chance with a “hottie” or woman half your age unless you have something besides YOUR SELF to offer her. Who would want you without the money and fame, eh? That comment just proves that Steve isn’t the only goon with that mentality. What a waste of space and wealth. And the women who sleep with them for those reasons just prove what numskulls and bimbos they are. Can’t find a man with a good personality and commitment to offer, so find one with a wife and millions of dollars, only to come out of it being neither rich or his wife yourself. Bravo. Buncha goobs. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I’m always making out with chicks two-thirds my age. Buyah.
Of course the american dream is to get rich and bang chicks half your age. Steve Phillips can die a happy man. They should put up statues of SP everywhere in the US of A. Make him a world leader and have him teach classes and seminars so we can learn his great ways.
Hey Fidel!
I think you did a great job! Harsh??? Well its a harsh world out there and you know these people that think of this add as harsh, come on you know you all are shit talkers or else you wouldnt be reading this shit!!!! Anyway! Keep up the comedy blogs….they make me LMFAO!!!!
J
Hey now, don’t be baggin’ on Brooke cuz she’s a fattie - we ALL know that fat chicks get crazy in the sack! They don’t get it very often, so when they do they go bonkers! I’m talking stuff you read about but never think happens in real life! All the bros out there have at least one fattie in their past that haunts their dreams… you know who you are! So say what you will, but I bet Steve had him some sweeeeeeeet lovin’ this summer….