TONIGHT: The Most Hispanic Football Game Of All Time
12 October 2009, 10:01 AM. By Alejandro Paz
Tonight we Latinos will be treated to a super heaping helping of Futbol Americano on Monday Night Football as the Jets face the Dolphins in Miami. You’ll recall that the fearless leader of the New York Jets is Señor Mark Dirty Sanchez, aka the Sanchize.
On the other side of field will be a team of men no doubt inspired by the spicy minority ownership (pun unavoidable) of Gloria and Emilio Estefan, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony. Just look at them. These Latinos are ready for some football.
Tonight’s game is gonna be exciting and not just because we’ll be eating Doritos and drinking Coronas in honor of Hispanic Heritage like the rest of the country. First off, Gloria beat out JLo for the pleasure of performing a customized version of the Hank Williams Jr. opening song on the MNF broadcast. It shall be spicier than a habanero up the ass.
Hot. But even hotter was Marc Anthony hosting a bunch of kids from Amigos For Kids at a football clinic in Miami this weekend. Not sure if he taught them some touchdown dances, but he did get behind them.
The kid looks like he might be cowering from fear of the chupacabra, no? But hotter than all that, hotter than the “Celebration of the Americas” halftime show, Anthony’s national anthem, and “Latin-style tailgating” at place called Calle Dolphins, will be Mark Sanchez’s unparalleled poise.
Oooh wee, it’s nothing but hot fire from that Mexican heartthrob. We just hope the Sanchize doesn’t decide to pull out another one of these dirty tricks.
So who will y’all be rooting for? It’s easy for us to go with the soon-to-be-greatest Mexican quarterback of all time, but maybe you prefer the Caribbean sensations de Miami?
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YES - a reason to eat mexican food instead of burgers/hot dogs while watching football!
The Dolphins should change their name to the Sharks, just for tonight
Excellent point. There’s gonna be a lot of finger snapping and odes to Maria out there tonight. It won’t be like any night.
Everyone knows that Jeff Garcia is the best Mexican American quarterback ever. Stats notwithstanding, just the fact that he bagged Carmella DeCesare is reason enough.
A couple of things, Mark Sanchez Nickname is not Dirty, it’s Nacho
http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/10/coach-ryan-breaks-in-the-new-guy.html
Also, Tony Romo is the best Mexican-American qb out there. How could he not?! He plays for Da Vaqueros de Dallas.
True re Nacho, but before that it was Dirty Sanchez Chimichanga. With all these clever nicknames, it’s hard to keep track.
But seriously fuck Romo. He’s nothing but hype. Note that he’s held (and enjoyed) many conversations with Jessica Simpson.
you guanababies need to do your homework! surely, superbowl XV, in which Mexican quarterback Jim Plunkett, under the tutelage of Mexican coach Tom Flores, led the Raiders to victory is the most Hispanic football game ever. plus, really, is there a team in any sport that’s more Latino than the Raiders?
I’m with you re the Raiders, but I think most Latinos love the Cowboys for some reason. Self hatred?
And, btw, this game has Latinos on both sides of the ball, with the NFL shoving their Hispanic goodness down our throats. Nobody knows Plunkett is Mexican.
I don’t count Jim Plunkett and Tom Flores because they, luckily, played during an era where the terms “Hispanic” and “Latino” were not widely used by the media and so they were simply called a football quarterback and a football coach, no labels. It’s the same in rock music regarding Carlos Santana; he was called a badass guitar player, not a Mexican-American, Hispanic or Latino music star.
so playing in an era where certain terms means they don’t “count” as Latinos? regardless of whether these players were labeled as Latino/Hispanic, they were, in fact, Latino/Hispanic.
and @Alejandro, I don’t know where you live, ese, but I don’t think there’s a Mexican on the West Coast that’d ever take the Cowboys over Los Raiders.
I would take Dallas over the Raiders. Grew up in San Diego, so I have to hate the Raiders.
Last night there were enough Latinos at the game and in the game to make a Pancho Villa movie. Every time they showed the crowd or the Box seats all I saw was dark skinnded goodness. BTW Cowboys have more Latino fans,that actually know the game and the team. Raider fans only know the colors of the team