The Iron Sheik Is A Racist Homophobic Crackhead Who Wants To Make You Humble

The Iron Sheik was a professional wrestler back when the WWE was still the WWF, we were wearing parachute pants and Hulk Hogan still had hair. And respect. We have faded memories as a young child in the 80s watching this Iranian madman before we were inclined to be afraid of terrorist America hating monsters. Back then, he looked like he could be a crazy genie from Arabia. But now he’s more like a terrorist on crack.

This motherfucker is a 63 year-old devil person with the combined qualities of Flava Flav, Rush Limbaugh and Mickey Rourke. The Iron Sheik wants to strike fear in your heart. With his 10-inch cock, he’ll break your back and he will humble you. Sexy. But seriously, who is the real Iron Sheik?

Ok fine, damn. Give us a second. Check this clip from his never released autobiographical documentary and let us find out.

Well shit it looks like Ol’ Sheikie Bubba is a ragingly abusive drug addict who refers to himself as The Legend Master and waddles sullenly through graveyards before taking pictures with kids for $5 dollars each. Life is good. But for the Sheik, old grudges die hard.

They did get into some heated battles.

The Iron Sheik wants revenge. He clearly has blue balls. And he definitely likes to fuck.

Hmm. But he’s not that bad of a guy, right?

Way to avoid the crack, homey. But, not so fast, the Iron Sheik has beef. With us?

Oh phew. Yeah fuck Mario Lopez. But shit. Brace yourselves, if there’s any reason to hate the Sheik, it’s this.

Oh fuck no, dude. You’ve gone too far.