World Cup 2010 Preview CONCACAF Edition: Honduras & The Curse Of The Also Rans.

Now that 23 of the 32 teams have qualified for the FIFA World Cup 2010, Anyguey will be providing analysis of the most interesting stories to watch for. This week, we’ll be covering the Confederation of North, Central American and Caribbean Association Football (CONCACAF).

The Honduran national soccer team has just qualified for the World Cup for only the second time in its history. As  reported earlier, the entire nation has been celebrating as if it were the second coming of Jeebus. Truthfully, we don’t blame you Honduras. You have a lot of heavy shit on your plate to be  dealing with, like the recent military coup or the fact that you provide Carlos Mencia with some quasi-legitimacy to make racist ignorant jokes about Latinos. We think you should forget about all of that for one second and relish your moment of joy, we mean really relish it. This will more than likely be as good as it gets for you guys. Sorry Catrachos, we don’t mean to shit on your parade but there are too many obstacles for you to overcome, and we don’t think you’ll earn enough points to move on to the round of 16.

Honduras Needs World Class Experience

Honduras, what will end up hurting you in the long run is your inexperience at the world class level. It’s kind of hard to see you going very far when 15 of the 25 players on your roster play in the local league. We mean no disrespect, nor do we mean to be bashing on your home league. We just want to point out that you’ll be facing national teams that are comprised of players who play in the Barcelonas and Arsenals of the world.

Honduras Needs A True Star.

You don’t have a legitimate superstar on your team, Honduras. The only  marquee player on your squad is striker David Suazo, and even then we hesitate to call him a full fledged star. While playing for Inter Milan is a testament to some serious mad skillz, it’s also important to note that Suazo has only made 29 appearances with the nerazzurri. Being part of one of the best clubs in the world is a great way to finetune your play, but the operative word in that sentence is play. Suazo has only scored eight goals since joining the Italian squad in 2007.

Having Heart Is Not Enough

We have to hand it to you, Honduras. You have real heart, and perhaps no other member of your squad encompasses this than 36-year old forward Carlos Pavon.  Pavon’s spent his career going from team to team, making pit stops in Mexico (Morelia, Cruz Azul, Necaxa), Spain (Real Valladolid) and even in the US (LA Galaxy). Pavon’s been a part of the national team since 1993 and will no doubt play his heart out in the big show now that he’s finally been afforded the opportunity to do so. Unfortunately, that won’t be enough. Yesterday we mentioned that 36-year old Cuauhtemoc Blanco will be making South Africa his swan song. Pavon will be doing the same. The difference between them is that Blanco has a strong supporting cast composed of players who make their living at Arsenal, PSV Eindhoven, Stuttgart, and Deportivo La Coruña.

Prediction: Sorry Guys

Honduras, think of yourself as that homely looking guy with a heart of gold and a surprisingly winning smile that asks out the hottest chick in town and to your surprise she says yes, mostly out of pity, but you don’t care. At the end of the night she’ll give you a peck on the cheek and send you home. But that’s okay, though. You’re already ahead. You know why? Because to your other ugly friends (El Salvador, Trinidad & Tobago, etc.), you’re a fucking baller. You went on that date. They didn’t.

At the end of the day, you always have to punch your weight. To be frank, Honduras, you should just be happy you had a chance to compete.