Music
The Decline Of Western Civilization: Nickelback Is "Band Of The Decade"
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13 Dec 2009 | 23:00
Comments: 13
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[caption id="attachment_91673" align="aligncenter" width="450" caption="They are dressed in black because Good Taste just died."]
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No, you didn't read the headline wrong. The shitty, Canadian noise polluters known as Nickelback are the band of the decade according to Billboard Magazine. Nickelback was only beaten by Eminem, 50 Cent, Alicia Keys, Beyonce, Nelly, and Usher on the "Artists of the Decade" list compiled by the hit-ranking publication.
But what exactly prompted Billboard to give this undeserved honor to the guys behind the craptastic singles "How You Remind Me" and "Photograph"? It's the number games, baby. According to their site, they determined the order of the list based on who had "the best performance on the Billboard 200 albums chart and the Hot 100 over the last ten years." So, really, it's not Billboard's fault. We're clearly the ones to blame.
Call it elitism, but this reaffirms our long held belief that most people shouldn't breed, especially after we just made a band that recyles their songs the musical representative for the 00s. Check out proof that all Nickelback hits are the same song:
[/caption]
No, you didn't read the headline wrong. The shitty, Canadian noise polluters known as Nickelback are the band of the decade according to Billboard Magazine. Nickelback was only beaten by Eminem, 50 Cent, Alicia Keys, Beyonce, Nelly, and Usher on the "Artists of the Decade" list compiled by the hit-ranking publication.
But what exactly prompted Billboard to give this undeserved honor to the guys behind the craptastic singles "How You Remind Me" and "Photograph"? It's the number games, baby. According to their site, they determined the order of the list based on who had "the best performance on the Billboard 200 albums chart and the Hot 100 over the last ten years." So, really, it's not Billboard's fault. We're clearly the ones to blame.
Call it elitism, but this reaffirms our long held belief that most people shouldn't breed, especially after we just made a band that recyles their songs the musical representative for the 00s. Check out proof that all Nickelback hits are the same song:
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Comments
I don't know if I'd call Nickelback the band of the decade, but I certainly wouldn't call them shitty. You disappoint me, young Padawan.
Replyyou mean someone actually listens to nickleback?!
ReplyI have a few of their songs on my iPod. And the group have sold more than 30 million albums/units this decade, so there are indeed many others who listen to their music.
ReplyYes it's true. They've sold shitloads of albums, but we both know that albums sold is not really a good measure of the quality of music.
ReplyRight. And like I said, I wouldn't call Nickelback the best band of the decade, but then I wouldn't name any band the best of a decade, as it's clearly a matter of taste. And though I understand your anger at Billboard magazine making such a proclamation, though that particular rag makes a lot of its decisions based on record sales and takes a such load of money from record labels, I also think calling Nickelback shitty is bush league. The group is obviously talented. I mean, the music buying is ignorant, I get that, but they're not that ignorant. I don't know, Fidel. Perhaps you're spewing your bile at the group because they are so popular. A lot of you young people in your 20s do that nowadays.
ReplyIt's only Monday, but this is already my favorite comment of the week. Okay, a couple of things. 1) I've been spewing my bile against what's popular since my mid-teens, so this is nothing new. 2) I'm not really angry at anyone/anything concerning this. I recognize that popular opinion will almost never meet my standards, and so I stopped worrying about that shit a long time ago. 3) I pointed out how they formulated their list. 4) As per calling Nickelback shitty, well...that's a matter of personal preference, and since I've been given a forum to express my opinions, you bet your ass I'll be doing so. 5) Don't stop commenting. Seriously. I mean that in the most complimentary way possible.
ReplySorry, the part where you put how Billboard determined their list had escaped me. And I know calling them shitty is your opinion, so I don't want t stifle that too much. But the really sad part here is that I am defending Nickleback to such an extent. I don't even like the group, though my girlfriend does, so maybe that's why I have been doing so.
ReplyI have this argument with my nephews all the time. I'm not defending Nickelback (although some of the songs are kinda catchy I guess) but I do notice a trend of people knocking something just because it goes mainstream. The kind of kids that ONLY go to see indie flicks or ONLY listen to local bands and bla bla. Popular stuff is popular for a reason. And trying to go against the grain to avoid being cliche, ends up making you into that cliche person who only likes anything that's not mainstream. It's not like Parker Posey is going to come and revoke your cool kid membership.
ReplyI'd rather listen to Fidel jerk off.
ReplyUh...thanks?
ReplyQuite the nice compliment. Weird as hell, but a nice compliment.
ReplyNickelback always makes me think of mana: both bands are big on doing songs that pretty much sound exactly like the last one, both are tolerable for airport music, and both have lead singers that live by the "im bringing curly back" mantra
Replybut the music is sooo boring and unininspired.
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