VH1's Basketball Wives Or: The Real Housewives Of Bitch County

Not content with the vile reality programming it puts out, VH1 premiered Basketball Wives last night. In case you weren't able to figure it out from our headline, the show's fucking awful. Actually, that's an understatement, but because of decency laws, we're not allowed to say what we really think. So, why exactly is this show really bad? For starters, it's unoriginal. Basketball Wives follows the same boring Real Housewives of.. template without adding anything new. The program chronicles a group of women who are either current spouses of basketball players, girlfriends, or ex-wives-- led by Shaq's ex Shaunie O'Neal-- and their rough, luxury-filled lives. In the pilot, we meet:Shaunie O'Neal, Jennifer Williams (wife of Eric Williams), Puerto Rican Evelyn Lozada (Antoine Walker's ex-girlfriend), Royce Reed (Dwight Howard's ex and baby mama),  Suzy Ketcham (former NBA player Michael Olowokondi's ex), and Gloria Govan (Matt Barnes fiancee). Despite having only one episode under its belt, Baskteball Wives does a phenomenal job at getting us to hate all these women and feel nothing but contempt for them. The only exception is Royce Reed, whose persona is so out there it borders on likeable. It also doesn't hurt that she's hated by everyone in the group for her "don't give a fuck" attitude.  This, no doubt, will prove to be the source of much of the show's drama, as evidenced by the following segment from the premiere. In the video, we see Evelyn discuss how she thinks Royce is perfect for  a "How Low Can You Go" dancing contest hosted by Ludacris. Royce, of course, participates and dances all raunchy and shit. Naturally, this shocks Evelyn--the woman who encouraged her to participate in the first place. Take a look: Wait, wait, wait. Evelyn, you think Royce's dancing was alright up until the point where she slaps the other girl's ass, and then you're disgusted? That's where you draw the line? Give us a fucking break. You're just finding an excuse to be confrontational. You and the other women are so catty, we're not surprised your significant others cheated on you.