Ashton Kutcher's Alleged Mistress Speaks

This is twenty-one year-old Brittney Jones. She told Star magazine this week that she had sex with Ashton Kutcher at his home while wife Demi was out of town. Does she look like a deer in headlights, or what? Just the kind of young girl to get mixed up with a player and then say, "We had incredible chemistry." Yeah, a cocktail of booze and horniness. You guys are soulmates.

According to Jones, she met Ashton at a bowling alley in Hollywood while he was with wife Demi Moore and her kids, celebrating a friend's birthday. Brittney was there with her parents and sibling. Ashton apparently went over to talk to Brittney while she was sitting in the cocktail lounge, and she slipped him her number. Despite protesting he didn't want it, Ashton took the number, but told Demi about it because one of her friends saw the whole exchange and ratted him out. Demi took a picture of the napkin and posted it on her Facebook page, which may have been Brittney's motivation for going public with "her side" of the story. Well, that and whatever Star paid her, plus her unquenchable desire for love and attention.

According to Brittney, Ashton telling Demi about the number didn't stop him from using it. She began receiving "a ton of crank calls from various area codes" at first. (Demi's Facebook friends.) Then, on July 27, Ashton texted "R U busy?" (Honestly we've decided not to sleep with men for such spelling, but then again, it was Ashton Kutcher.)  Brittney asked if he wanted to meet, saying she felt that Ashton was too afraid to make the proposition. They did meet in a parking lot of a Beverly Hills shopping center. Klassy. Brittney followed Ashton in her car to the couple's home where he told her Demi was in Detroit filming a movie. He made her a vodka tonic "He said he noticed at the bowling alley that was what I was drinking. I was flattered he took such careful notice of me," Brittney says. They talked for a half hour. "Ashton told me he liked being married. He said he was in love with Demi and that she was his soul mate, his best friend, and that they were very close. It was sweet how he talked about her. It was all so innocent, like we were friends and he was the older, wiser person giving me advice on my career and love." And then they screwed. On the couple's living room couch because Ashton refused to go into the bedroom with Brittney. Demi is his soul mate, remember?

A few weeks later, Britney couldn't stand it and she texted Ashton to meet again. He agreed to meet her at a gas station. They rode away in his car through the Hollywood Hills and had a conversation where Ashton told her he couldn't see her anymore. He apparently felt bad for having cheated and couldn't justify carrying on the affair. For her part, Britney seemed to take it like a woman. Well, except for the tattling to Star part.

Then the article ends like this:

But while it wasn't meant to be, Brittney doesn't regret her decision to sleep with Ashton. "I want my side to get out and for people to understand that I had real feelings for him and really liked him," she explains. "It was never about just sleeping with a celebrity. I had this incredible attraction to him, and it seemed like he liked me, too."

Oh, lawd.

Source: Star, Print Edition, September 27, 2010