Jessica Alba's Nude Scene From Machete Was Fake [NSFW]

We've been lied to! The only reason anybody wanted to see Machete in the first place was because promises, FAMOUS NUDE PROMISES, were made. Ain't nobody watching that shit for the sub-par convoluted storyline or the played out Mexican stereotypes (Cheech?!? We're tired of that MoFo!). The real draw was them supposed Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, and (possibly) Michelle Rodriguez nalgas we was disque gonna see. Well it turns out we've been wanking off to computer graphics and body doubles. Que pedo?!?! We can do that shit on our Xbox sans a $10 ticket price. (At least the wanking off to computer graphics part. Lohan's body double was pretty hot.)

Gizmodo has a short clip of Alba's fake scene here.

Source: Dailymail, Gizmodo